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An open letter to Blaire White, and all the TERFs out there who think transgender children transitioning is wrong... You're wrong on this.
In fact, denying a transgender child their gender is pretty abusive. How do I know?
Because I was one of those kids.
Because I was one of those kids.
I first came out to my parents when I was four. I remember asking my mom when I was finally going to be allowed to wear dresses and...
... grow out my hair, and when my privates were going to start looking like other girls'. Needless to say, she flipped out.
Off to therapy I went. I was told that how I felt was bad and wrong, that I was sick, that I would never be happy as a girl, that it...
... wasn't natural, that how I felt was dirty, whatever that therapist could think if to dehumanize me. And that paled in comparison to...
... what I dealt with at home. I was beaten, my brothers were encouraged to beat me up, my brother spread it around school so I was...
... basically ostracized. So, I conformed, and isolated myself as much as possible. I also went from being an A student to a D/F.
Then, when I was 7, I was molested at gunpoint by a family friend. I remember everything about that day, but I remember being blamed for...
... the incident because I still acted rather girly. More abuse followed, including my dad threatening to rape me. I isolated further.
This is also when I started trying to run away from home, which just added to my misery when I was dragged back.
Over the years, the abuse became less and less, until I was 15. I had started putting together a cache of makeup and clothes, and...
... when I had the chance, I would "play". I had also started drinking and smoking by then, and was sexually active, since I believed...
... the only way a woman would love me was to be "edgy" and basically a whore. Well, my brother decided to out me to my parents, which...
... led to a new round of abuse, "therapy", and isolation. I almost flunked our of high school, and even though, from then on, I...
conformed to what they wanted, they refused to help me pay for college, since "those people" were often accepted there.
So, I worked, and did my best to bide time until I could get away from them. Then I met my wife, which further put my transition plans...
... on hold, since I believed that being in a pure, heteronormative relationship would eliminate my transness. It didn't work.
Six years ago, I finally came out to my wife. While it took a long time for her to wrap her head around, it's gotten better, and...
... finally, at age 40, I'm transitioning, albeit slowly.
All of that, literally, could have been avoided if my parents would have been remotely sympathetic instead of showering me with abuse.
Which is what you advocate. It's abuse. There is no other term for it.
And it's wrong.
And it's wrong.
Before you tell us who you believe us to be, and how we should live, walk a while in our shoes, and share our experiences. Otherwise..
... all you have is ill-informed, biased rhetoric.
*fin*
(I know Blaire and her ilk will never see this, but I had to say it.)
