@Andra_me_uk
I never wanted to be trans, took me until 44 to accept who i am, overcome my fears & guilt of how i felt
Spent my life up to this point trying to repress, ignore & overcome these feelings – I could no longer do that, being me was one of the hardest things I ever did
I never wanted to be trans, took me until 44 to accept who i am, overcome my fears & guilt of how i felt
Spent my life up to this point trying to repress, ignore & overcome these feelings – I could no longer do that, being me was one of the hardest things I ever did
@Andra_me_uk
For most ppl your body, your sense of who you are matches the sex you have on your birth certificate, (called Cis- Cis is short for ‘cisgender’) meaning somebody whose gender identity matches the sex they were given at birth. Basically, ‘not trans’.
For most ppl your body, your sense of who you are matches the sex you have on your birth certificate, (called Cis- Cis is short for ‘cisgender’) meaning somebody whose gender identity matches the sex they were given at birth. Basically, ‘not trans’.
@Andra_me_uk
battled severe depression and anxiety for decades, nothing I tried seemed to help this inner turmoil I felt … transitioning has been the most liberating thing I have done, finally feel free & able to live who I am, its not easy at times but that darkness has lifted
battled severe depression and anxiety for decades, nothing I tried seemed to help this inner turmoil I felt … transitioning has been the most liberating thing I have done, finally feel free & able to live who I am, its not easy at times but that darkness has lifted
@Andra_me_uk
Sept 2015, had buried myself in work (for decades) travelling to meeting in London, was a mess, missed my tube stop. Found myself on an empty platform waiting for the right tube – an overwhelming feeling of just escaping by jumping infront of a tube was in my head…
Sept 2015, had buried myself in work (for decades) travelling to meeting in London, was a mess, missed my tube stop. Found myself on an empty platform waiting for the right tube – an overwhelming feeling of just escaping by jumping infront of a tube was in my head…
@Andra_me_uk
…the platform was empty, before I knew it I was walking towards the platform edge… I never saw this person but from nowhere an arm touched mine and the words ‘are you ok?’ suddenly came into my consciousness… I wasn’t, I broke down and cried….
…the platform was empty, before I knew it I was walking towards the platform edge… I never saw this person but from nowhere an arm touched mine and the words ‘are you ok?’ suddenly came into my consciousness… I wasn’t, I broke down and cried….
@Andra_me_uk
…after my meeting on the journey home what the hell is wrong with me kept going around my head, this wasn’t the first time I had been in a complete state of despair and wanting to end it all… it’s a sad fact 41% of trans ppl have at some point attempted suicide...
…after my meeting on the journey home what the hell is wrong with me kept going around my head, this wasn’t the first time I had been in a complete state of despair and wanting to end it all… it’s a sad fact 41% of trans ppl have at some point attempted suicide...
@Andra_me_uk..some multiple times…some succeeding… I still hadn’t accepted I was trans
…didn’t sleep that night, spent it online trying to understand what was going on in my head…saw my GP next day she prescribed antidepressants sadly for me they didn’t help...
…didn’t sleep that night, spent it online trying to understand what was going on in my head…saw my GP next day she prescribed antidepressants sadly for me they didn’t help...
@Andra_me_uk
Nothing I read about depression or suicidal thoughts seemed to fit how I felt. Then I came across a blog..
Nothing I read about depression or suicidal thoughts seemed to fit how I felt. Then I came across a blog..
@Andra_me_uk
…reading this blog was like someone had written about my life, from childhood, through puberty & young adulthood…then at the end it was written they were transgender…WTF ?? I really had no idea what that meant, surely I can’t be trans, it filled me with dread...
…reading this blog was like someone had written about my life, from childhood, through puberty & young adulthood…then at the end it was written they were transgender…WTF ?? I really had no idea what that meant, surely I can’t be trans, it filled me with dread...
@Andra_me_uk..and curiosity at the same time…that was the start of a rollercoaster of emotions & events that changed my life…
@Andra_me_uk
…fear and denial were overriding, all I could focus on was rejection by loved ones, all I seemed to read about was ppl suffering abuse in public, losing jobs, losing partners & being rejected by their family & friends … my family is the most important thing to me..
…fear and denial were overriding, all I could focus on was rejection by loved ones, all I seemed to read about was ppl suffering abuse in public, losing jobs, losing partners & being rejected by their family & friends … my family is the most important thing to me..
@Andra_me_uk
… I didn’t want to be alone…over the next 6 months I spent every week seeing a counsellor, my GP and talking to my wife about how I felt … I became more withdrawn, wasn’t sleeping at all and ended up with another attempt to end it all…
… I didn’t want to be alone…over the next 6 months I spent every week seeing a counsellor, my GP and talking to my wife about how I felt … I became more withdrawn, wasn’t sleeping at all and ended up with another attempt to end it all…
@Andra_me_uk
…April 2016 my therapist simply said in one session ‘why can you not just accept who you are? Why just you destroy yourself trying to understand this and looking for reasons to deny yourself ?’
I saw my GP and she referred me to a Gender Identity Clinic, but ...
…April 2016 my therapist simply said in one session ‘why can you not just accept who you are? Why just you destroy yourself trying to understand this and looking for reasons to deny yourself ?’
I saw my GP and she referred me to a Gender Identity Clinic, but ...
@Andra_me_uk the waiting list to be seen was over 14 months I needed help now…
@Andra_me_uk
…had a good job and money so I found a private Gender Identity specialist (not all have this privilege) spent the next month having blood tests, talking to specialist psychologists. Now I knew that ether I accept & live who I am or I won’t be here...
…had a good job and money so I found a private Gender Identity specialist (not all have this privilege) spent the next month having blood tests, talking to specialist psychologists. Now I knew that ether I accept & live who I am or I won’t be here...
@Andra_me_uk
it didn’t feel like a choice it was about surviving . May 26th 2016 started HRT..… I felt relief, but also huge anxiety of what lay ahead, my wife knew that it was this or I wasn’t going to be here, she found it very difficult and was upset and angry, no idea ..
it didn’t feel like a choice it was about surviving . May 26th 2016 started HRT..… I felt relief, but also huge anxiety of what lay ahead, my wife knew that it was this or I wasn’t going to be here, she found it very difficult and was upset and angry, no idea ..
@Andra_me_uk
..what the future held … I had crossed dressed for years, (all of our 15 yr marriage) but this was different and scared her…… 2+ years later & still together, its been tough but were closer, she knows this isn’t a choice and says I’m much happier now..
..what the future held … I had crossed dressed for years, (all of our 15 yr marriage) but this was different and scared her…… 2+ years later & still together, its been tough but were closer, she knows this isn’t a choice and says I’m much happier now..
I’m still the person she knows & loves and in many ways I’m a much better person… this is how i feel about my life. /end
