Thread by @HoarseWisperer

Not that anybody needs a vomitus over-share of others’ personal stuff on Twitter but I’m going to do it anyway for a second.

Today has been a lot.

This morning, I learned that my father has rather abruptly fallen into severely ill health and is near end of life.

1/

We’ve been estranged for over 20 years. That’s a circumstance and relationship I long ago made peace with. It is settled law, so to speak.

So news of his illness hits me with a sort of detached thud akin to hearing about someone you once knew but long haven’t.

2/

It’s more seismic to my sister and relatives - which in itself puts me in a weird place of being like Bruce Willis in Sixth Sense.

An empath in scenes you’re not really in. It’s... a lot.

3/

In parallel, I had one of those parenting moments where you need to correct your child’s behavior by leaning in with the full weight of “I am very disappointed in you.”

That hits kids like an anvil because it should and has to sometimes but it’s unfun.

4/

The aftermath though was a long talk with my son about all manner of things.

About defining who you are rather than being defined by who you’re around. About values and family and my life as my father’s child and his life as mine.

5/

And as has always been the case, the adversity brought us closer and we ended the day with him asleep on my chest. Both a little worn out.

With him fast asleep next to me, what was left for me was a split screen of the dysfunction of my relationship with my dad...

6/

...contrasted against the closeness of my relationship with my own son.

We’re imperfect and flawed. I’m an imperfect parent. But we’re thick as thieves and adversity always brings us closer.

7/

I’m blessed to have my son and blessed by our relationship.

His childhood held up against mine is gratifying. It feels good to know he’s insulated from things I wasn’t and know he has a stability I didn’t...

...but it’s also heavy and just a lot.

Today more than most.

8/8