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Tomorrow’s New York Times, tonight...
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Headline:

“Trump Lashes Out At Staff, Feels Betrayed by Attorney General Pick”

By Philippe Reines, on special assignment to The New York Times.
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WASHINGTON DC - After a surprisingly conventional appearance on Capitol Hill today by his nominee to be Attorney General, President Donald J. Trump is reportedly fuming at advisors for recommending William P. Barr for the job, several advisors said.
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The advisors spoke on the condition of anonymity in order to discuss their colleague’s advice to Mr. Trump.
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He is said to be especially upset with newly arrived White House Counsel Pat Cipollone, questioning the advice he has received about Special Counsel Robert S. Mueller’s investigation, which has loomed large over his uneven tenure and threatens to derail his ambitious agenda.
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Even before the hearing was gaveled into adjournment, Mr. Trump started to call friends outside the White House to ask if it’s not too late to pull back Barr’s nomination, according to two close associates.
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The two close associates spoke on the condition of anonymity in order to freely criticize those working inside the White House with whom they have often clashed.
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In an interview with FOX News personality Sean Hannity, a favorite stop for officials seeking to embellish bad news, Mr. Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani said, “It’s routine for presidents to withdraw a nominee after they testify they won’t fire the guy he’s being hired to fire.”
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Mr. Trump is also said to blame his daughter and son-in-law, Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner, both Senior Advisors, for recommending he fire FBI Director James E. Comey, a move jeopardizing his legacy despite passing the most comprehensive prison reform bill in a generation.
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A spokesman for Ms. Trump and Mr. Kushner would not comment for this story on the record.

However, someone familiar with the couple’s thinking said, “There is only so much they can do.”
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Tom Barrack, Mr. Trump’s oldest business associate who often serves as a sounding board, said in a statement, “These missteps have plagued Donald ever since Hope left,” referring to former aide Hope Hicks who occupied a unique position in trump’s orbit as a calming presence.
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Emerging late tonight from the White House, Senator Lindsey Graham, Republican of South Carolina and frequent dinner companion, told reporters, “He knows I love Wendy’s and told me to come on over for leftovers,” adding, “I am confident the Barr nomination will proceed.”
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Separately, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, Republican of Kentucky, commented, “I‘ve often said there‘s no need for legislation to protect the Special Counsel.” He went on to add with an almost imperceptible smirk, “today’s testimony failed to change my perspective.”
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White House Spokeswoman Sarah Sanders, frequently described as having a casual relationship with the truth, said, “The President has no second thoughts about nominating Bill Barr, but this is a witch hunt being run by ‘crooked cops’ that needs to end.”
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In a series of late night Tweets, Mr. Trump’s preferred method of communication, the president wrote in his characteristically non-traditional style, “BILL BARR: URANIUM ONE (10 times worse than Wattergate!) MUST BE INVESTIGATED! BUT FAKE NEWS WONT EXPOSE CROOKED H. BAD!”

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DISCLAIMER: THE ENTIRE THREAD ABOVE WAS WRITTEN BY ME, MEANT TO SPOOF HOW EVERY NYT ARTICLE READS. ITS CLEAR I DID TOO GOOD OF A JOB.
I had NOTHING to do with this...

politico.com/story/2019/01/…
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