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Please recognize within me, what all of you have felt when awakening to being tricked for most of your life. I have been gifted with certain abilities you may define as authoritative. I speak my truth out loud for my body at this stage because it needs that to reconcile with me.
This isn't anyone else's burden to bear. Please see my song of sorrow and rebukes for what it is. A young boy still sad at the nature of people who he doesn't fully understand. My strength of voice belies that child aspect. But is the truth of a man willing to let himself be
What his BODY needs first. This is a unique perspective within me, it feels very, for lack of better terms, feminine. It's beautiful. It feels reverent towards self in a loving way that I want to express. I am healing wounds between my body and my consciousness. My body gave me
Cancer to warn me I wasn't within my truth. When that happens it takes time to reconcile. My body obviously lovese or I would have been dead so, so long ago. I am IN LOVE with this body. I will be its father now and be the man at the door, Ivan Hoe, standing in the gap.
This is to give my body the time it needs to learn how to teach me what I can't understand about it yet. And for me to be present without too much outside influences adjusting where MY sense of gravity is. 3D graph points. Sphere. My point wobbles and slides. It's not rigid.
I love cooperative efforts. It is what I hope occurs MOST going forward. I just can't allow a large shift for now because that would destabilize the tremendous and profound gift I have received recently. In this aspect particularly (no pun intended CERN) I remain at home as
When I am in public those that wear black and red or black and white create uncomfortable effects within my being. I was raised by Satanism. It still is a trauma, as I was given things to smoke as early as 5. These are fresh recognitions, and my ability to process in my mind is
AWESOME now, but my body is still the abused puppy who shies away from even the sound of a pistol being loaded, much less being fired. I like guns too! I enjoy sport shooting. I don't enjoy unintentionally harming others though. So if my truth bullets feel heavy, accept them as
Pearls, tears from my soul...the salt that this earth needs so badly. Men. Open your hearts and weep them into this earth. Let her hear your lamentations. Your deepest ones. Not the anger. The sadness of being so...stuck. So almost what you want to be. The losses you may feel.
I will join you as I become more and more of a man. For now my cries are something more. An abused baby who wanted love in the first place. That's all. I love without reservation when I whole and healthy. I'm still putting my last IOTA together. Please give me the grace I hope
One day I can return to you when a little more mature. Today is a day for my baby to cry, and accuse without reservation because it's got to be released. No volcano inside this man. I won't let that happen to my lovelight and my wife right here in this house. OA OE.
