Thread by @DmitryOpines

1/ Click-bait headlines are damaging the Brexit conversation. A rage thread.

I woke up this morning to the news Australia was planning to "fast-track" the UK FTA.

This was news to me, as I'm not aware Australia has multiple "tracks" or that one of them is faster than others.

2/ Australia assigns a team to every FTA. They work really hard to reach agreement within their red lines. If they do, there's a signing. If they don't, work continues.

The US has a concept called "fast-track," but it's a legislative instrument to do with executive authority.

3/ So from which hell did this idea of a fast tracked AU-UK FTA spawn from?

Turns out it comes from this run in a story by Jamie Smyth.

It's a good story, but it doesn't suggest anything like what a normal person would read the headline to infer.

4/ These are the headlines the @FT and @IrishTimes ran this story under.

How do you get this headline from 'Sure, I'll sign something if you guys can negotiate it with us quickly, but you get it's going to be hard right?'

5/ "But Dmitry, you judgemental cheese stuffed wombat, it's just headlines! The article itself is good."

Yeah it is, except this is what people see when it's shared on social media:

google.com/amp/s/amp.ft.c…

6/ What's the FTs click through rate? 2 per cent? 5 per cent?

(The article is also paywalled).

Also, here's how The Express re-reported this story (complete with a photo of our now deposed former PM):

7/ Australia hasn't pledged to do anything new here. Obviously. But that doesn't matter because we know how this goes.

An ERG Account will retweet these articles with some stirring words about Commonwealth solidarity and probably Dunkirk. It will be retweeted 5,000 times.

8/ Que #BBCQT:

"Sir, what makes you think sunlit uplands await?"

"Why, the Financial Times, no fans of Leave (Etonian chortle), just reported the Australians have VOWED to FAST TRACK our FTA..."

- wild applause-

9/... And there it is.

Now it's established wisdom and the discourse around trade and Brexit gets just managed to discover a new depth of dumbness in which to dwell.

I hope the extra clicks were worth it. /end