Thread by @AriSchlesinger

Let me tell you about the time I rage quit a tech study because it was #toorapey

#toxictech
#hci
#phdchat

we're going to call this the rapey noise study™

#toxictech
#hci

what's the rapey noise study™, you ask? great question!

it's a (not good) study about interacting with a computer using your brain by focusing on a noise while other noises are playing.... [look ma, no hands!...]

#toxictech
#hci

what makes the rapey noise study™ rapey?
well, sit for a spell and roll up your sleeves cuz we're getting into it

#toxictech
#hci

Once upon a time, the rapey noise study™, an 8 hour study split over 4 sessions (WHO EVEN HAS THE TIME!?!), subjected poor, unfortunate souls (grad and undergrad) to "the pleasure" of sitting dark makeshift "room" listening to loops of poorly made audio files

#toxictech
#hci

the rapey noise study™ played noise for 3 seconds, then 2 second pause, then 6 seconds (a loop of the 3 second noise(s), then another 2 second pause

20 times in a row...
for 4 sets of twenty...
for 4 noise types...
for 3 conditions...
over 4 sessions...

#toxictech
#hci

now, there is a lot of stupid shit in this, why the hell does it take so long, rapey noise study™—but you're B.U.S.Y.! So we'll jump right to the good stuff

aka the part where i started yelling "this is rapey and problematic as fuck"

#toxictech
#hci

Let me take you back to earlier today:
it's rapey noise study™, condition 2, session 2
we're listing to "speech tones" aka distorted samples of white and generically American sounding voices say noises that resemble words...

#toxictech
#hci

Of course, rapey noise study™ has a masculine voice and a feminine voice. [What is a computing field if it doesn't put things into a binary?]

#toxictech
#hci

So, we're top of the 2nd and far away from the 7th inning stretch in the rapey noise study™

the poor unfortunate soul who got stuck running this study [notably, NOT the study designer] starts playing the "speech" noises

#toxictech
#hci

This phase of the rapey noise study™ involves 4 speech noises (barely comprehensible, yet somehow still distinguishable english "words"), all playing on top of each other while also looping

#toxictech
#hci

For the first round of 20, I am just trying to figure out if there are even 4 distinct speech noises in the shitty-90s-dialup-connection sounding vocal noise mess

by this point, the rapey noise study™ is giving me a headache
[6 big speakers surrounding 1 me]

#toxictech
#hci

now it's time for round two of 20 in the rapey noise study™
the first noise i am supposed to listen for plays:
"no no no"
in a soft feminine tone

#toxictech
#hci

so i listen for a quiet "no no no"
drowned out by a sea of distorted noise
and then it's quiet again
noise loop 1 in this round of the rapey noise study™ is done

#toxictech
#hci

then, the second noise I'm supposed to listen to in the rapey noise study™ starts to play:

"Yes. Yes. Yes."
in a firm masculine tone

#toxictech
#hci

and then it hits me
my mouth falls open

"Yes. Yes. Yes."
booms over
"no no no"

#toxictech
#hci

at this point, my mouth is shut and my hands are pressed against my lips

it's as if I'm back in that spot, saying "no no no" into a sea of noises—no one is listening, no one notices

"no no no" get drowned out

in the rapey noise study™ and irl

#toxictech
#hci

so you're not supposed to talk or move your face too much during the noise listening parts of the rapey noise study™

so I sit there, holding my mouth shut,
listening to this bullshit, rapey, #toxicmasculinity loop
over
and over
and over and over

#toxictech
#hci

with each distorted, soft, "no no no"
i hear the booming "Yes. Yes. Yes"

I suddenly remember the scene from Singing in the Rain when the audio file gets out of sync with the talking picture—still silently following the rapey noise study™ proceedures

#toxictech
#hci

the movie came out in 1952
the rapey noise study™ is recreating this moment in a perfectly 2019 techno-sadist fashion
[why make a musical when you can program problematic oppressive shit into your code?]

#toxictech
#hci

after 20 rounds of this techno #ToxicMasculinity nightmare loop
there is smoke blowing out of my ears

poor unfortunate soul running the rapey noise study™ looks at me and my distress and says,
"That's 20"

#toxictech
#hci

poor unfortunate me says,
"I don't think I can do this [rapey noise study™] anymore. I'm sorry, I'm fucking furious"

[i apologized!?!? of course I apologized, society taught me to be careful about disappointing folks—cough, cis-men, cough, white cis-men]

#toxictech
#hci

poor unfortunate me continued to tell the other poor unfortunate soul:
"Holy hell, this is problematic and rapey, I don't think I can keep doing this... I have never rage quit in the middle of a study before, but I don't think I can finish the rapey noise study™

#toxictech
#hci

Now we're in a recursive loop, because I told poor unfortunate soul running the rapey noise study™ everything I just told you, B.U.S.Y. friend.

#toxictech
#hci

I start LOUDLY making my own noises in response to the rapey noise study™:

"is that not super rapey?" "this is so problematic! right?"

.... to be continued

#toxictech
#hci

You can now find me ranting LOUDLY and aggressively and angrily about the rapey noise study™ on campus....

#toxictech
#hci

if it weren't summer, I would have interrupted more than the ONE meeting happening near by when shouting "I am so fucking angry, it was so problematic" about the rapey noise study™

#toxictech
#hci

and honestly, I want people to hear me, because

my feelings are VALID and I am fucking ANGRY

how the fuck did the rapey noise study™ get this far?!?

#toxictech
#hci

not only that, why does the rapey noise study™ have multi-thousand dollar equipment funded by someone other than a grad student, while I have the pleasure of buying my own research equipment?!?

#toxictech
#hci

BUT! All hope is not lost!
Dear #UX, #HCI, #UI, #CS, #TECH, and other #RESEARCHERS in this/related areas

stop
this
shit

if you are working in this area—especially if you're white, male, cis, Western, english speaking, American, etc—it is time to listen and learn
#toxictech
#hci

Listen to Black Trans Women
listen—really listen—to queer disabled folks
listen to black people, to native folks, to people of color
listen to women and cis women and enby and gnc and trans folks
listen to people NOT speaking english | english should != access
#toxictech
#hci

give space and time and power to these people

they know things you don't know
and their lives and experiences matter
and #research, #tech, #hci, #ux, and #ui would be BETTER if it was not always marginalizing and exploiting people

#toxictech
#hci

I am still really fucking angry
but i have EVERY RIGHT to be angry

the rapey noise study™ is a problem
the culture that let it get this far, with so many participants before me is a problem

#toxictech
#hci

putting folks in a dark isolated "room", folks who are not in a position of power
listening to #ToxicMasculinity on loop and not having the space, safety, power, or time to say something IS A PROBLEM

#toxictech
#hci

We can do better. We need to do better. End of Story.

#toxictech
#hci

I'm going to go watch play with my pup and listen to @lizzo as LOUDLY as I damn please

#TruthHurts
#toxictech
#hci

#LIZZO
#100PERCENTTHATBITCH

p.s. this study also had a delightful audio sample that sounded like a bullfrog singing the chorus of Feelin’ Hot Hot Hot (cry-laugh emoji)

Basically turning this:

Into this:

#toxictech
#hci

p.p.s. if you have never thought about racism, (cis-hetero)sexism, homophobia, ableism, classism, colonialism, imperialism, in your study design and you're working with computer and/or people—there is work to be done!

#toxictech
#hci

p.p.s. I'll help you get started:

qz.com/work/1178770/s… - @EricaJoy
designjusticenetwork.org @schock
civic.mit.edu/2015/03/19/ant… - @jpdimond
morgan-klaus.com/sigchi-gender-… - @morganklauss (and more, like @farbandish @WomensFormula)
blackwomenincomputing.org/wp-content/upl… - @JDBurge

#toxictech
#hci