Thread by @thearmchaircom

Ok Millennials who are parents, listen up. At some point your kids are gonna be adults, and you just might have to apologize to them for your parenting choices. It might be something relatively simple like, “I’m sorry I dressed you like the child of a depression-era seamstress.”

Most likely, you might have to apologize to your kid for something that you said or did that hurt or traumatized them. There’s a chance that, unless that was your aim, you might not have realized it.

I see a lot of parents of our generation stuck with decision paralysis because we want to do the absolute best and absolute right thing for our children. I am concerned about what this is doing to your family long term.

It’s valid to want to do right by your kids or to give them better than what you had. My concern is that in 15, 20, 30 years a lot of y’all are going to retraumatize your kids when you can’t accept that your well thought out plan didn’t serve them.

Are you prepared to hear from your adult child that a decision that you agonized over did them harm? Are you willing to accept that homeschool, no sleepovers, limited screen time, unlimited screen time, being free range, vaxx or non-vaxx, public school, whatever hurt them?

Also, I’m not here to debate about any of the above choices. I’m just saying that you need to prepare yourself for your kid hating choices that you made with them in mind. I’m concerned that a lot of us will go to the mat on our parenting choices. But will we hear our kids?

I’m not putting down your choices as a parent. All we can do is our best. I’m not criticizing that. I’m concerned that many of us have a zeal to make the best decisions and are arrogant about it. Will we be this way with our kids?

We have so much knowledge and access to information that we don’t always feel like we have to guess. Will we justify our google searches and mommy blog opinions, or will we listen to our kids? Will we be able to self-critique?

All that to say this: be prepared to apologize to an adult version of your child. Get lots of practice apologizing now.

Also, and I hope you remember this if/when you need to: Don’t justify your actions. Explain if asked. But mostly listen.

Let go of your defensiveness about your parenting #ontoday. You don’t have all the answers. None of us do. You don’t get to abuse your children and ask forgiveness later, but you also don’t get to insulate yourself from critique.

You will mess up as a parent. It doesn’t have to be the end of the world. Don’t beat yourself up.

This thread isn’t intended to shame, but to get us thinking better.