Thread by @ZillionRoss

I'M FUMING

After three grueling years of engineering school, I got onto a project I was working towards for those three years, to build a Baja SAE car for competition. This was the capstone project that I wanted to be on the day I stepped into higher education.

This is a capstone project for my college and it's split into two semesters, first semester is design and paperwork, and generally less fun then the second semester. Second semester is fabrication and actually building the car, the semester where the hard work comes to life.

So... I get an email over the winter break from the college of engineering telling me that had been kicked out of my capstone project, and that I shouldn't even try to get a waiver to get back in.

I cannot express how much this completely broke me.

I have put up with literal years of team members disliking me, helped build the cars, design the cars, went to competitions, put hours of my own time into the club (which is associated with the capstone project), and even dumped my own money into the cars we made.

To a lot of people capstone projects are for a grade and that's it, there is some excitment for it, but the amount of dedication I put into getting to where I could be a part of this project is extremely rare to almost unheard of.

Now everything I worked for, for the past three and a half years, is up in smoke.

And there is no next time. I don't get a second chance.

None! Nothing! Nada! People always tell you if you show enough heart and enough dedication people will see it BUT I'M HAVING A REAL FUCKING HARD TIME BELIEVING THAT RIGHT NOW!!!

THE FUCK!?

Now I have to work on some capstone project that I will have no love for, designed by less dedicated people than those I worked with, I already have to sit there and watch all my friends graduate before me, and now the one goal I had, ripped from me through a FUCKING email!

I honestly don't know why I'm still doing this, I hardly have anything to look forward to. I don't want to be here, I don't want to go to lectures, do exams, and have anxiety so bad that I scratch cuts in the tops of my hands. But I don't know what I'll do if I stop either.

I'm still going to be part of the Baja SAE club, I'm still going to design my fucking components for the car even though it's under capstone jurisdiction because fuck you that's why! I'm not going to stop because some bureaucrat fucknugget told me I can't!

I'm not smart, I'm not talented, and I sure as hell am not Stanford material, I've had to claw tooth and bloody nail for every good grade and every achievement I have gotten in the past 3.5 years at this fucking school.

I already have to grit my teeth and watch smarter kids get the grades, projects and internshios they want, while I'm still trying to figure out l why nothing I try works. I try again and again, and keep getting walloped in the face again and again AND I'M SICK OF IT!

7 semesters of bullshit only to get shoved out at the end, NO! When you say "get out", this time I'm not going to say "Well alright, then how can I improve for next time?" this time I'm saying something else.

"Fuck you, I'm finishing this."

For the record I got shoved out because I still need to take two classes that are prerequisites two prerequisites that don't even correlate to fabrication, those being Vibrations, and FEA, hinedtly would have been great for Capstone I, because that was the design phase, but nah.

So apparently 2 classes that have little to no correlation with capstone is more important than 3 years of dedication to Baja SAE club, going to competitions, designing and participating in capstone 1, and being one of the OFFICERS on the club

That's what's REALLY pissing me off