Thread by @cbkwgl

Alvi is ordered by Bajwa's boss to report in China. Befitting to his stature, he was received by a junior minister. Qureshi, who never missed an opportunity for a free trip followed him, only to contract the virus. After Pinki and Bibi Bajwa, Qureshi joined the queue.

A jealous Immu declared Kamal is the best CM and not Murad even though Kamal locked himself in Bela. After Taftan firing backfired, Pakistan decided to place them on Indian border and provoke Indian Army around them.

Never to miss a chance to beg, Immu has begged the world to write off all the loans Pakistan has got. There is a serious debate going on over who is the bigger fool - Qadri or Immu. And PSL still goes on, infecting people.

Not to be left behind and to score the highest in the South East, Indonesia is planning a Tabligh bigger than Malaysia. One should just hope that both of them won't go on a competition spree over who will score the most in this race against time.

After the hand kissing incident of Gulbarga, a few pious Indonesians who missed it went to a prayer meet in Karimnagar. They were found in a train and turned out to be virus positive. They have successfully locked down a whole state in India.

World Navies are racing against time to stop an unmitigated disaster from happening - a ship full of sanitisers is hijacked by Somalian Pirates and it's loss will be seriously felt by the world. The pirates, not knowing what it is, have already started dumping it in sea.

In an ironic twist of events, Somalia has offered aid to a prominent Middle Eastern country in it's attempts to fight the Chinese Virus. On fears of sending medical equipment, the cost of facemasks increased by 20 times in Mogadishu.

While no working airport is helping Libya quarantine itself from the Virus, Haftar is planning to seal the borders with Italy to stop the Virus and has launched an offensive to force GNA do the same. His added condition is no imports from Turkey as well.

The wife of a prominent Pakistani cricketer has cursed Britain for risking lives by letting a tennis tournament go unhindered. On the other hand, a British cricketer tested positive because Pakistan refused to cancel the Cricket League for the money it brings.

While an Indonesian Minister declared Corona Virus is not deadly, Dr. Corona is made the head of anti-Corona task force. Dr. Corona is waiting with bated, the infections from the Tablighi which shifted from Malaysia for Indonesia after infecting Malaysia.

Iran is undecided - whether to celebrate entry into the Guinness Book as the host of the country with the oldest Virus victim or to mourn the loss of the Great Ayatollah who died within a day of infection, who is but a just another name in the string of high profile deaths.

Celebrations all over Pakistan as China declares Wuhan Coronafree and Pakistanis clamouring to go to Wuhan for the free trip. After all, who would want to miss something free, that too in a country like China which helps Pakistan fight India?

While a Virus infected died in Gilgit Baltistan, Mirza declared there are no deaths in Pakistan due to the Virus. While news of execution of patients is known, this is an unexpected surprise, with someone from the government declaring GB not as a part of Pakistan.

On the other hand, Immu is angry at Mirza for declaring no deaths in Pakistan. This will sabotage big time, his advances towards World Bank for another loan in the name of Chinese Virus. With Indian Army pummelling Bajwa's troops nonstop, he is in desperate need of money.

According to a new theory, donkeys exported by Pakistan to China are the actual reason for the Virus, with these infected donkeys spreading havoc in China. Pakistan is fearing demands of reparations from China over this misadventure.

Pakistan has mandated that every person entering Pakistan should have the Virus Test done to gain entry. While not one country is ready to test those who are not showing any symptoms, it is yet to be seen what will Pakistan do for non-compliance.

A massive show of force is seen in South India, with more than a thousand gathering to protest against Citizenship Amendment Act. The gathering is arranged by Indian chapter of the Sri Lankan Easter bombing terrorist front and has vowed to hit the roads irrespective of the Virus.

Erdogan is angry. In spite of him banning the word COVID, the number of COVID cases are rising in Turkey. Putin's treatment of him in Moscow actually helped - his Syrian Invasion means Turkey is not in the transmission route, unless the infection spread from some Syrian Fighters.

No one expected such drastic a step by the Taliban - they have passed orders not to target health workers. With zero know how over how to handle the Virus, and seeing the devastation on all three sides, Taliban has decided to outsource the healthcare to the health workers.

The reason for the clamour in Pakistan for the free Wuhan Trip surfaced. China declared there is no more domestic transmission and by bringing these Pakistanis, China can justify another spurt in numbers because of visiting colonials - and declare foreign origins of the Virus.

Pakistan is housing Virus infected in open air cages and incidents of throwing food at them to avoid contact surfaced. This apathy means rise of quackery leading to slaughter of pigeons - a Hakeem declared pigeons force-fed with grain and consumed with meat will cure the Virus.

In a repeat of post Operation Polo situation in Pakistan, clueless Pakistanis are wondering why the virus which is much touted as Allah's answer to Kashmir and Palestine hasn't touched Israel and India in a way they expected, but wreaked havoc in Pakistan and Iran.

This comes amidst Israel completely locking down Virus infected areas in Palestine and attempting to break the Quds ratlines in the Middle East in an effort to stop the Virus from spreading even further and crossing over into Turkey and other areas.

Shocked at the low numbers in India, the ecosystem has kicked into action, with a prominent influencer sending out the fake message to the effect that Indian govt is planning to bury the numbers and throw patients at the mercy of private labs and hospitals, only to be called out.

The sudden spike in the Virus cases in Malaysia and Pakistan led to people demanding Halal non-alcoholic sanitizers. The governments are attempting to find a theological solution to come out of this fix and stop people from hiding behind religion to avoid cleanliness.

Section-144 imposed in Delhi is being looked upon as an assault on Shaheen Bagh and not a preventive against the Virus by the interested parties. Though the protesters are happy they won't be forced to stay in the camp, their handlers are not happy at the turn of events.

Rohingya are being treated as untouchables inspite of them being in a Muslim country because of rumours of the Virus spreading amongst them. This is in sharp contrast to the Pope of Roman Catholic Church praying god on behalf of all people to rid the world of the Virus.

Against demands of emergency by opposition leaders, Modi's calls for a voluntary curfew and not swamping hospitals may not cut ice with the ecosystem which opposes himself for everything. With India hitting doubling zone window, it needs to be seen how India behaves.

This is on top of the fact that one of the prominent anti-CAA leaders tested positive with the Virus and is under forced quarantine. With rising risk of spreading infections, dispersal and possible quarantine of Salem sit in is expected any minute.

Mahatir is put under quarantine. However, it is not clear whether he contracted the Virus or whether it is due to his disastrous economic and foreign policy which led to his resignation amidst a debilitating palm oil crisis which drowned the country.

In a sudden twist of irony, Pakistanis seem to have heard Modi's speech more seriously than India - with a sudden flood of messages asking Pakistan to go under self quarantine and not to flood the hospitals for trivialities, Pakistan is getting ready for the eventual doubling.

In a contrasting note denoting the cultural priorities across the world, the toilet paper counters in every major shop in India are without any customers. There are glaring examples of whole stores getting empty but with all shelves full only in toilet paper counters.

It is gut-wrenching to see the Imam of Kaaba was sobbing when giving his sermon looking at an empty Kaaba, a scene unseen in centuries. The Pope of Roman Catholic Church giving sermons through video link and the Imam of Kaaba sobbing will go as images of the century.

Somalia has refused landing rights to a plane from Dubai at Mogadishu amidst fears of the Virus. The plane is now forced to turn back and return back to Dubai. It is not known if there are any infected persons on the plane or if this is a general precaution.

It has again surfaced that Pakistan is controlling it's Virus patient numbers by executing them and burying them as those notorious Na Maloom Lashien. At least twenty infected seem to have been executed in the last few hours in Balochistan and buried away.

Initial indications from a new Indonesian research hint that guavas have got some inherent resistance against the Virus. Though the wider audience have cautioned at jumping the gun, the news has already caused a guava shortage in parts of Java Island.

A message from Pakistan:
When (God forbid) this virus spreads across Pakistan, do remember our ulema's role in this, as they refused to close down the mosques. They are directly responsible for endangering the lives of millions.

As is the norm, DJ ISPR is granted extraordinary powers to counter the Virus in Pakistan. The twitter army is being prepped up for the eventual misinformation campaign to obfuscate and confuse the wider audience - and shift the attention to India and Kashmir.

Turkish Bar has raised a red alert over the readiness of the government over the Virus. According to the statement issued, tens of thousands of prisoners will be killed if the Virus affects the prisoners in Turkey going by the inhuman conditions in Turkish prisons.

In a case of extreme hypocrisy, there were massive celebrations on appointment of the new bishop of Indonesia in spite of the govt refusing permission fearing spread of the Virus. This is in complete contrast to the govt of Vatican surrendering to the will of the Italian govt.

A message from India, completely contrasting the one from Pakistan and reflecting the position of the French President:
If India's situation becomes the same as Italy or Iran, it's the complete fault & negligence of people who think it's cool to hangout carrying a virus in you!!!

Amidst fears of the Virus, potential need of domestic deployment and more importantly, proximity to Iran, Britain has decided to recall it's military mission from Iran, which is already depleted due to the escalated situation post Solemani's death.

India has confirmed the first death of it's citizens in Iran, infected with the Virus. This has left the world confused as to how Indians have got such low an infection and mortality rate as compared to Iranians and the Caucasians even when in the centre of action.

In an effort to shore up support against the usage of the term "Chinese Virus" for the Virus, China shipped a quantity of masks to Malaysia. This is a welcome boost to a country battered by economic woes post Mahatir's ill taken stand against India in support of Pakistan.

A British doctor of Pakistani origin, in spite of being infected by the Virus travelled to Pakistan and refused to take a Virus test. She fled the airport and was captured after 15 hours by the army. Her taxi driver has tested positive as well.

Reminding one of what the world is staring at, Iranian Doctor Shirin Rouhani passed away while on duty. Due to the shortage of medical staff, she continued to serve even when critically ill and on drips. She is but one of the many brave doctors who refused to abdicate their duty.

In another proof of failure of Pakistani fight against the Virus, Kashmiri students who chanted death to India all their life have dun in for a sit in at the Wagah Border demanding they be sent back to India due to better medical treatment and sanitation in India.

In a new low, Pakistan has ordered military scientists for manufacture of masks and sanitizers indicating the incompetence of local manufacture industry. With not even China ready to donate masks and sanitizers, Pakistan is left with no option but to manufacture it's own.

Focus has now shifted to Indonesia's animal markets in light of Wuhan market which is considered to be either as the source or an early carrier of the Virus. This coincides with countries like Vietnam ordering a crackdown on markets which sell wild animals for human consumption.

Iran has decided to release 10000 thousand more prisoners in an effort to stem the effect of the virus. It is already known the Virus is as devastating as the Black Death which killed the Il Khan, his successor and destroyed the Il Khanate in less than twenty years.

Aliyev, in a stark reminder of the days of old called out the "fifth columnists, traitors, enemies" for causing panic and using the Virus "to destroy Azerbaijan." While no reliable data is known, access to Baku and other major cities and commute to Iran is severely restricted.

After the Malaysian Tabligh which migrated to Indonesia, Bangladeshi Muslims have now decided to come in a congregation to pray for containment of the Virus. An estimated 25000 people came together in Lakshmipur to pray in spite of the govt cautioning against.

A Khalistani medical shop in Britain had to publicly apologize and offer refund after selling basic paracetamol for £20 amidst massive public outrage. There are already demands to curb usury using the panic and scarcity due the Virus as a reason to reap profits.

Haftar's untimely aggression has actually helped Libya stem the tide of the Virus - with regular bombing and frequent curfews, there is no option to the people to stay at home instead of congregating in public. A formally announced curfew also helped.

A shocked Pakistan is not in a position either to accept or reject the American grant of $1 million to fight the Virus, even less than what Somalia allocated. In a far cry from the Musharraf days, this shows nothing more than the current standing of Pakistan before American eyes.

Whether it's a confidence booster or a sign of the general incompetency oozing everywhere, Lahore authorities have declared that the Virus will not survive 27 degrees temperature when the city temperature itself is 27 degrees and asked people to drink hot water and walk in sun.

Iran is bracing for deaths more than three million due to the Virus - both due to the swamped medical facilities and due to reluctance to impose a complete lockdown. Though govt issued an advisory not to celebrate Nowroz in public, lack of formal lockdown is not going to help.

Bogor Mayor testing positive to the Virus was the final trigger to push Indonesia towards a general lockdown. Jakarta mayor has asked people to stay indoors for the next three weeks and Jack Ma sending half a million test kits to Indonesia is coming as a welcome relief.

While Rejang dances in remote Bali beaches are still going on unhindered, India has stopped the public festivals including the famous Sri Rama Navami mass celebrations at Ayodhya. Restricted entry is enforced in most of the major temples and other public places in India.

A new study published hints that the Virus becomes less effective as temperature and humidity rises. However, it is not clear why India, Kenya and Thailand followed this trend but Malaysia, Pakistan and Indonesia didn't. As a general rule, the tropics have seen lesser incidence.

Red alert is raised in Pakistan by both medical and defence sources demanding mandatory lockdown - there is nothing much a country can do with 2000 ventilators and non-existence of a patient verification and quarantine system. China and America not releasing aid is not helping.

A protestor from the Lucknow protest site:
There is nothing to fear over Corona. They are only creating panic. Corona came out of Quran and even bigger ones will come. It's they who will have to fear us. Nothing will happen to us. This is a ploy to disperse us.

In one of the first hints of the distressing situation with ISIS over tackling the Virus, a Pakistani doctor trying to enlist for ISIS is captured in USA. Though ISIS has ordered Work From Home for its workers, the real impact to their workforce is not known.

Another distress message from a concerned citizen of an unknown but impacted nation:
Can someone f*****g cancel Jumma Namaz??? My dad is saying Muslims cannot catch Virus and he will be the death of us. How many more such utter idiotic fools are living out their? Please die!

Another message from a uber elite, condescending house owner.
In the meantime my cleaning lady refuses to clean my home anymore. She says "You people come from overseas and infect us poor people" hmmmm ...Smiling face with smiling eyes

Massive Jumma gatherings all over India. Fascinatingly, it looks the Muslims of India have placed trust in god violating all the desperate pleas given out by govt to avoid any social gathering. This comes amidst a shutdown Kaaba and multiple countries issuing pray in home orders.

After Alvi is graced by an audience of President Xi, China has issued an order to send some doctors to help a clueless Pakistan face the challenge of the Virus. Coincidentally, this times with China's diplomatic outreach to the world to stop it from calling it China Virus.

The migrant waves trying to swamp Greek border troops with Turkey continue unabated. After a brutal attack on the border, the refugees from Turkey of Pakistan and other countries were pushed back amidst serious losses by the Greek troops. The border stands unbreached.

Even after the whole world is made aware of the ineffectiveness of cloth masks after Kerala tried to produce them in bulk, Pakistan still went ahead with stitching of cloth masks as a community venture. However, what use will they be of to Pakistan is something to be seen.

Massive arrests in Turkey after people criticised govt policies dealing with the Virus. A massive manhunt is launched for the capture of around 175 people. 65 people are already captured. Ironically, this seems to fill the emptied jails after release of non-political prisoners.

A new conspiracy theory in Middle East
Iran used the Virus as an attack against America after Solemani's death. But, the situation is terribly mishandled leading to a massive disaster. The counter being, these are actually deaths in missile attack maksed as victims of the Virus.

A Pakistani who returned from Spain tested positive for the Virus. Instead of going under a quarantine, it is understood that he bribed the airport authorities and fled. At least six persons, including his son were infected by him before he was captured in a nation-wide manhunt.

Pakistan's responde to American aid to fight the Virus:
The US stigmatization of calling the coronavirus Chinese Virus is disgraceful, unacceptable, it's racism directed against the entire community, entire people and entire nationality. We condemn it

Pakistani Minister Zartaj Gul
The virus has come in every year as dengue comes every year. This disease will come in the future as well and we should not be scared of it because there is no vaccine. We need to adapt to it and get on.

After Pakistan opened border with Afghanistan, it is expecting a flood of people infected with the Virus from Taliban held areas due to a non-existent medical system there. Pakistan is bracing up for a massive spike in numbers. Patients are expected from other areas as well.

The Libyan slinging match seems to have no end with LNA claiming Turks importing the Virus into Libya and GNA claiming Russians importing the Virus. This is besides the fact that the country is too busy to notice the Virus, fighting a see-saw civil war.

It now surfaced that China is exporting used masks to Pakistan instead of disposing them. The masks are washed, dried and ironed and made to look like new ones before being sent to Pakistan as aid. It is not known whether Pakistan is the only destination for such masks.

After Kuwait, Palestine shows the world how to deal with the Virus. It is learnt that the Imam of a prominent mosque in Palestine asked a doctor to give the Friday Sermon over the Virus by saying, "The pulpit is not limited to men of religion, it is for people who have knowledge"

Multiple cases of chloroquinone poisoning cases surfaced in Nigeria after it is recommended as a medicine for the Virus. Though doctors have cautioned that the use of the medicine can lead to severe heart ailments and other complication, panic use of the medicine hasn't stopped.

It is learnt that Somalia has no testing facilities and testing of samples is being done in South Africa with a lead time of three days. With no country coming forward to donate test kits, there is only that much Somalia can do to control the Virus - flight bans and quarantine.

In an ironic twist of events, Indonesia has issued travel ban for any person who went to Vatican City. Questions over the effectiveness of praying to St. Corona, the Patron Saint for Pandemics and the theological superiority of Vatican are already being questioned.

Many Pakistanis with Canadian citizenship are planning to flee Pakistan after Canada announced govt will foot the bill to bring backpe Canadian citizens. Clearly, this is an opportunity they can never miss going by the state of healthcare and preparedness in Pakistan.

At least ten different strains of the Virus are identified - with L and S strains wreaking havoc. Though the incidence of the other strains is very low, their behaviour and their effectiveness of a killer machine is not known due to lack of data and swamped medical facilities.

Massive ruckus at Srinagar Airport when some students who reached India from Bangladesh refused tests and quarantine claiming they are cleared through thermal scanning in Kolkata. Parents have joined the fight against the authorities and additional troops are called for.

It now surfaced that many potentially infected are moving between countries by taking a paracetamol to suppress body temperatures and avoid being caught in thermal scanning and subsequent quarantine. Govts are slowly waking up to this fact and are declaring mandatory quarantine.

Two more people linked to Shaheen Bagh protests tested positive. With number of people infected by the Virus at protest sites increasing by the day, refusal to call off protests in spite of the fact that the law affects no Indian citizen in face of such a crisis flummoxes many.

Rejecting the calls for voluntary curfew by Indian Government, All India Sufi Ulema Council has decided to offer special prayers of repentance to rid the world of the Virus. Huge numbers are expected to gather at the mosques for prayers on Sunday, especially in Hyderabad.

A local influencer from Kasaragod in Kerala may become India's Patient-31. He attended a wedding involving people from the corridors of power in Kerala, travelled in trains, visited mosques and even a football match. The whole town of Kasaragod is under quarantine.

Bangladesh is under severe shortage of protective equipment for the fight against the Virus and hasn't got a quarantine protocol yet and there are demands to make the country ready by the medical fraternity. This comes amidst another massive prayer gathering of 10000 people.

Libya has passed formal orders to shutdown all schools and universities and replace the education model with distance learning. However, going by the not so good state of internet in Libya, it needs to be seen how effective the new ruling will be.

Pakistan's step-motherly treatment to the Shia Gilgit-Baltistan continues. Even after the number of cases of the Virus in the province crossed 50, the national task force set up to counter the Virus contains no representation from the province and relief is yet to be provided.

In another proof of the death of the Global Village under the stress of the Virus, it now surfaced that Iran is refusing treatment to anyone who is not an Iranian forcing people of poor countries like Afghanistan and Pakistan to return home and infect people there.

In spite of pleas not to gather for prayers giving the theological backing of a shutdown of Mecca and Madina, Kenyan Muslims gathered in huge numbers at Masjidul Abubakr for prayers even after other mosques in Kenya shut down operations. Some other small mosques still operate.

Slowly, it's becoming clear, prominence of religion is the real reason for the havoc wreaked by the Virus in Iran. It is common to see a cleric visit a patient, make a benediction with a pure heart and leave the hospital unchecked adding another undetected carrier on the streets.

Very rarely, the world faces a situation where testing dangerous medications on humans without any clinical trials or medical protocols becomes common. Iran has declared it succeeded in producing a synthetic drug for the Virus and will release it in the market in ten days.

While Umayyad Mosque of Damascus is closed for the first time in more than a millenium and Jordan closing itself, Pakistan is not ready to budge, with a cleric in Karachi told his congregation via loudspeaker, "We are not too weak to let this one virus empty our mosques."

After Indonesian researches the effectiveness of guavas in curing the Virus, a Malaysian researcher theorised that Cannabis can be used as a cure the Virus. This is based on the understanding that the Virus is similar to any other Corona Virus and needs an anti-inflammatory.

Some sources point out that the number of people infected by the Virus has crossed thousand in both Malaysia and Pakistan. While a super spreader, Patient 136 is considered to be the reason in Malaysia, paralysis of govt machinery is attributed to be the reason in Pakistan.

Dr. Murad Baloch
The people infected with Coronavirus are being kept in Balochistan; rather than, sending them to their own areas. This is a willful attempt to spread the Coronavirus across Balochistan...This is being used as a biological weapon against the Baloch nation.

There are rumours of Egypt pushing people infected with the Virus across the porous border into Libya. Seven buses with Egyptians with no medical clearance or certificates were held by Libyan authorities at Gheryan. The passengers without clearance were sent back.

One killed and ten injured in Rajbari, Bangladesh when two groups clashed with each other in a hospital over some flippant comment over the Virus. The situation is still tense and authorities are working to bring it under control.

On a surprising note, the rise of cases of the Virus is almost three times that of Italy, one of the fastest rising country in the world. A broken medical system, an apathetic government, carriers from Iran, refusal to shutdown connectivity with China - all played their own part.

The Virus gave a great opportunity to Pakistan to lay off employees and reduce costs without any repercussions. A prominent news channel from Lahore which is actually in profits and sitting on a surplus cash pile has laid off 40% of its workforce citing inability to pay salaries.

Due to the ongoing Tablighs, Indonesia estimates there are at least 6-700k people who came into contact with the carriers of the Virus. A major concentration is assumed to be in South Jakarta and the government is ramping up it's testing capacities to avoid any unexpected damage.

Mujahid is happy at the complete shutdown of Pakistani airports - the jet fuel will be diverted to military use. A sharp rise in the number of sorties is expected in the next few days unbothered at the sudden rise in number of Pakistani victims of the Virus.

Open calls are issued to break the voluntary curfew India placed upon itself today and gather at the mosques for prayers are noticed everywhere. Not just the Ulema but political leaders also are giving calls of boycott and gather in large numbers.

Unable to handle the menace due to the fast spread of the Virus, Sindh Govt has formally asked the Army to help assist the Govt in managing the situation. It is interesting to note, Sindh ignored all government protocols and approached army bypassing the Federal Govt completely.

With the regular prayer gatherings in tens of thousands testing it's patience, Bangladesh is planning to bring in the army and enforce a national emergency. This comes amidst another huge gathering of 20000+ near Lakshmipur yesterday who came together to pray against the Virus.

A serious theological debate is raging around, with Muslims calling the Virus as Allah's Soldier which destroys anyone who harms Muslims. But, this is not in sync with the ground situation making people question if Allah supports India and Israel over Kashmir and Palestine.

Celebrations in Palestine after a 88-year old holocaust survivor succumbed to the Virus. The warped priorities of Palestine focussing more on the suffering of Israel than on the welfare of Palestine has surprised many again and again all over the world.

In another proof of Pakistan being in the centre of global terror network, two Pakistanis tested positive to the Virus, amongst all places, in Palestine. It is already known that the Turkish refugee waves on Greece are manned and led by people from Pakistan.

While Turkey declared its first death on March 18, reports of at least one person who died on March 6 due to the virus surfaced, questioning the necessity to hide the numbers. With a massive wave of Turks expected to return from Germany, things can soon spiral out of control.