Context: It was a rhet-comp class housed in the Digital Writing & Rhetoric Lab between 2013-14. We focused a lot on digital composition & analyses of visual/Internet media. I *loved* designing & teaching this course. 2/
sites.google.com/a/utexas.edu/r…
sites.google.com/a/utexas.edu/r…
Some big takeaways:
1. We’re good, as a society, at treating death/dying with humor.
2. We’re not so good about facing it directly.
3. But we can get better at facing it! 3/
1. We’re good, as a society, at treating death/dying with humor.
2. We’re not so good about facing it directly.
3. But we can get better at facing it! 3/
The death toll from #coronavirus is going to increase pretty rapidly. It’ll strain not only our medical and social resources, but also our psychological, emotional, and cultural capacity for addressing death. For instance… 4/
...no funerals = not being able to engage in cultural mourning customs. This will really hit people hard. Grief is easier to bear when we have a template for it. So what do we do? How can we proactively prepare ourselves? 5/
First, you should be thinking about your own perceptions of death and dying. What are your experiences with it? About 1/2 of my students had never attended a funeral; very few had seen an open casket or attended someone dying in hospital. Most had a pet die at some pt. 6/
So ask yrself: Have you had traumatic experiences with death? (Could be anything from witnessing a bad car crash or crime, or having a life-threatening illness, or being really really sad when someone died.) 7/
Have you had positive experiences with death? (Like attending a really good memorial or via religion/spirituality.) How do you encounter death on a daily basis in your life? (I promise you, you DO encounter it daily, even if you don’t think about it.) 8/
How have you and your loved ones/friends talked about death/dying? Avoidance, matter-of-fact planning, joking, sharing memories?
For instance, I’ve talked w/ my 5-year-old about death since before he could walk. 9/
For instance, I’ve talked w/ my 5-year-old about death since before he could walk. 9/
What representations of death/dying do you see in the media? Is it all doom and gloom, or humor, or shock value, or factual/documentary, or religious/spiritual, or what? What representations do you think are more accurate, or that influence your views more? 10/
Note: death/dying are not as present in our daily lives as they were a century ago. Ppl die in hospitals, not @ home. Life is prolonged by machines, meds, other interventions--in some cases, beyond where “quality of life,” depending on your definition, has passed. 11/
Not as many ppl work farms/keep livestock, so they don’t see firsthand what illness/death looks like on sentient* animals. This contributes to a lack of imaginative empathy for the reality of human death.
(*I eat meat. I think of livestock & fish as sentient...and delicious) 12/
(*I eat meat. I think of livestock & fish as sentient...and delicious) 12/
Images of death are sanitized or sensationalized in the media (news, movies, memes, etc.), & we think tech & medicine will always save us. Allowing these representations to guide one’s relationship with death/dying leads to an anti-death culture that is opposed to reality. 13/
The reality of death is as varied as every individual on the planet, but also ultimately the same for everyone. 14/
That is, it can be a slow, painful process. Or, it can be quick and agonizing, or quick with little pain. It can be scary, even if you’ve planned well for it.
But it comes for all of us.
We do ourselves a disservice by avoiding having a relationship with it. 15/
But it comes for all of us.
We do ourselves a disservice by avoiding having a relationship with it. 15/
How did my students develop a relationship with death/dying?
We analyzed memorials, from the 9/11 one in NYC to the 1989 UTA Flight 772 crash in Niger, & more. 16/
We analyzed memorials, from the 9/11 one in NYC to the 1989 UTA Flight 772 crash in Niger, & more. 16/
We made infographics about plastination, suicide, deaths-head imagery, Grimm’s fairy tales, & more. 17/
jumpplus.net/issues/issue-6…
jumpplus.net/issues/issue-6…
I took them on field trips to the historic Oakwood Cemetery in Austin to analyze gravestone imagery, to witness the times of mass illness when whole families died... 18/
& to acknowledge how the Black and Jewish sections of the cemetery were set apart and maintained differently than the rest. 19/
We listened to a death-themed song at the beginning of every class period. We watched a documentary, hosted by Sir Terry Pratchett, about death with dignity (Choosing to Die, 2011) 20/
imdb.com/title/tt192938…
imdb.com/title/tt192938…
We researched & analyzed arguments on Death With Dignity laws, “death panels” (remember that??), case studies like Terri Schiavo’s, and various cultures’ ways of mourning. 21/
We wrote eulogies of famous people and read them in character as someone who would’ve known them. (best ones: Dr. Seuss, Sylvia Plath, some death-metal lead singer, some philandering country music star) 22/
We wrote our own obituaries, imagining coming to the end of long lives, full of dreams dashed and fulfilled, having had many experiences and overcoming hardships, leaving a legacy for loved ones 23/
(the obit thing was an exercise I had first encountered in 10th grade Creative Writing class) 24/
One day we did a quick writing exercise of composing epitaphs. These kinds of exercises make death less unknowable, more personal, and therefore more legible. 25/
And we researched ways to be proactive before death comes for us or family: what is a living will, what are end-of-life-care options, how do we approach having hard conversations, what are our individual and family priorities, etc. 26/
In other words, my students began to have a face-to-face relationship with death/dying, instead of looking at it sideways through humor or avoidance. Their final reflection assignments were poignant, eye-opening, and heartening. 27/
What can YOU do now to develop a better relationship with death/dying? Check out Death Cafes (not in person, obvs, due to social distancing, but look at their social media). 28/
deathcafe.com
deathcafe.com
Also, talk to your family & friends. Let them know your preferences & fears. Ask theirs. Go online for resources for living wills, end-of-life care, Death w/ Dignity laws, cremation vs. burial vs. compression into a diamond vs. composting vs. donating body to science. 29/
(FYI, I'm totally gonna do this with my remains): seattletimes.com/seattle-news/w… 30/
Be an organ donor. Realize that out of death comes life. We are no different than the plants in the ground: we grow, we die, we nourish the earth and its inhabitants. 31/
Realize that the Kübler-Ross “5 stages of grief” are not so much sequential, but states of being that can pop up any time, at any intensity, while you’re grieving. And grief/mourning is not just for death, but for anything that feels like a loss. 32/
And hey, it’s OK to approach the topic with levity & humor! Whistling past the graveyard is fine! Gallows humor/black humor is fine! 33/
As Byron wrote, “And if I laugh at any mortal thing, ’tis that I may not weep.” Death is truly absurd, in the exact sense of the word: it is beyond sense-making, so we just do the best we can. 34/
Overall, if you change your perceptions and expectations of death and dying, you’ll begin to feel less scared of it. You don’t need to feel *comfortable* exactly, but it will feel less overwhelming. 35/
In closing, I think about death & dying a lot. Like, A LOT...to the point that I have a children’s book in my Drafts folder, & I want to be a death-doula, & I want to write a full-length book about it, etc. So if you wanna have a conversation about death/dying, I’m here. /end
Case in point: seattletimes.com/seattle-news/h…
