Dear UK, we would like to apologise for the extreme weather you are currently experiencing. The twiddler valves in the cloud stealing machine (as exposed by Gen. Jalali) weren’t oiled correctly thus causing the directional beam to slightly misfunction.
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Unfortunately this has resulted in the UKs clouds being targeted instead of the Iranian ones as planned. Our engineers have been working around the clock to fix the problem and we expect normal service will resume in approx a fortnight!
In the meantime, we suggest the use of drip irrigation as perfected in Israel or that you try recycling 87% of all water as they do in Israel. Once again our deepest apologies for the inconvenience caused.
For further information please contact: 0800 ZIONIST CLOUDS
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For further information please contact: 0800 ZIONIST CLOUDS
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