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John Hayward @Doc_0
, 4 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
What we really need is an article offering tips about slipping your Christmas wish list to your benighted relatives in between angry political tirades over the Thanksgiving turkey.

1. Scribble list on their napkins
2. Sculpt your mashed potatoes into shape of desired gift
3. After you tell Uncle Jerkweed he's a right-wing maniac/commie pinko, loudly remark that you could relax and spend less time watching CNN/Fox News if you had a copy of [insert name of desired videogame and system]
4. Let it be known that you only get so worked up about politics because you are hot/cold/have sore feet and you're trying to save up for a new [insert desired article of clothing]
5. After your bitterly acrimonious hyper-politicized Thanksgiving dinner, lead your seething family in a heartwarming sing-along of "12 Days of Christmas," substituting the gifts you want for the items named in each verse
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