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OK, with heavy heart, let's make this point again. If are a charity campaign director, whether on violence against women, violence against men or literally any other topic whatsoever, please please PLEASE do not fall back on the REAL MEN DO XYZ trope > telegraph.co.uk/news/picturega…
It's not just it's a terrible, lazy, hoary old cliché now (though it is) - it is actively harmful. What you are doing is buying into the ancient patriarchal myth that masculinity is a status of achievement that must be earned & awarded, something at which you succeed or fail >
Once you've bought that premise you have 100% accepted the fundamental building blocks of gendered oppression & inequality. 'Real men don't hit women' is one card in a pack that also includes "Real men know how to fight" and "Real men earn enough to support their womenfolk" >
That pack also includes 'Real men are not effeminate,' 'real men are not gay,' 'real men don't get raped' 'real men deal don't ask for help' and all the other toxic bullshit that comes from thinking about masculinity as a pass/fail test rather than a state of being.
I'm afraid the simple truth is that real men are violent & abusive just as real men are saintly & heroic and real men are intelligent & stupid and healthy & sick & gay & straight & trans & cis because all of those men, every man, is a real man, whether or not he's a nice man. >
Apart from anything else, you'd think the likes of Women's Aid would notice that 'Real men don't hit women' has been a trope of masculinity since ancient times and has proved bloody USELESS at preventing violence against women.
If you ever find yourself tempted to utter the phrase "real men don't do XYZ" it's probably worth stopping & asking yourself if you'd ever use the phrase "real women don't do ABC" & if you can see the problems with the latter then it shouldn't be too difficult to make the leap.
