Thread by @docbhooshan

This is Part 2 (Part 1 is in the link)
#SexEducation
#Parenting
#India
I will write about what parents can do to talk about sex and educate children in appropriate way.

https://twitter.com/docbhooshan/status/1139013928153862144

If you are a regular Indian parent like me, you don't ever want to talk to your kids about sex. Even after their marriage.

That's how we grew up and we wish everything remained the same way even in 21st century.

But world has other plans for you.

While you were busy growing up on old Playboy, Penthouse and Debonair and getting cheap thrills from racy third rate novels written by now famous socialites, world changed!

Internet happened
Globalization happened
Economy opened up
Smartphones happened!

Children are exposed to sex from early age.
Dogs copulating in the middle of busy Indian roads to our beloved cultural pinnacle, Bollywood! everything in the universe conspires to make them aware of most primal instinct of our being....reproduction and its wonderful tool ..SEX

If this was true, we wouldn't be 1.3 Billion Indians from a few "cultured" couples :) are always eager to shame young parents - you must have exposed kids to such talks, action, visuals!

If this was true, we wouldnt be 1.3 Billion Indians from a few "cultured" couples :)

Children see, hear, think and ask questions about it. Their first port of call is mother, father, grandparents, nursery teachers.
They are also curious about body and do not hesitate to point to your (or a stranger's) body parts and ask difficult questions.

This is your most precious moment as parent educator. So some important points here -

1. Child is curious. They trust YOU! hence the question. Don't betray that precious trust by shouting at them or giving a stupid answer
2. There is no right age to ask a question

3. If child asks a question, it means their curiosity is kindled.
4. If you don't satisfy this curiosity, they WILL find other ways...inconvenient, embarrassing, shocking and may be harmful ways.
That's how it works.

How to answer the question -
1. With a pleasant smile or a very straight face, matter of fact way.
2. Brief, quick answer. (long winded answers are for PhD thesis and for liars)
3. Factual not value/judgement laden (neutral tone helps examination of beliefs)

4. Use simple language. Use words that children use - e.g. if child asks about your penis or breasts by just pointing there, ask the child "what do you call it?" and use that word if okay or suggest a simple alternative. using words like Phallus/Mammaries/etc. is bad idea.

5. if child's question makes you uncomfortable, admit it - " i feel a bit shy to answer that one. give me some time to find words" is a perfectly valid answer(emotional intelligence). Do regroup and go back to the child after a while and finish that answer.

Sometimes children will spring a surprise and throw statements like - " i want to have babies" " i want to do sex with xxx"
no matter how shocked you are, ask with a smile "what do you mean by that" "whatever made you think that?"
mostly the answer will be honest and cute :)

You can always ask the child to elaborate their question so that you can answer better or choose a part that you are comfortable answering.

Never turn a child away in shame, fear, anger or disgust. Most of their question about "sex" are actually body and process curiosity. Young children don't think of SEX like us adults. Our blinders make us look at them with suspicion.

Let them experience chats with you as a safe place to explore their curious thoughts. Let your child trust you as a dependable stable adult. Children don't like drama (except when they are making it) , it makes them uncomfortable.

So, a steady voice, matter of fact tone and a smile goes real long way in the discussion. (Practice this in your free time or with a partner. Its a vital skill for parents)

Most important point -
When children ask stuff like - "when can i have sex?" or something similarly shocking, tell them "When you become adult" with a straight face. Children understand age related privileges like driving, job very well. This is a safe and correct answer.

I trust that you are a sensible parent and not one of the Darwin Award Winners ( @AwardsDarwin ) who drive a car with toddler/child in lap or let your underage child ride/drive motorized vehicles.

In Part 3 , i will write about adolescents and exposure to pornographic material. Stay tuned.

Constructive criticism always welcome.

Do visit - nobadtouch.com to learn to prevent child sex abuse.