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Really, really long thread on Sandeep Vanga and #KabirSingh coming up. Brace yourselves. (Apologies for the spam in advance)
I hadn't so far made a thread on #KabirSingh because I didn't want to add to the outrage, but after seeing Sandeep's interview, I want to add to the conversation. First up, hats off to @anupamachopra for such a brilliant, civil interview! We need more discourse like this overall.
Now, about Sandeep Vanga's views and Kabir Singh itself: No, I don't think stories like Kabir Singh shouldn't be allowed to exist. They definitely should, because every perspective is important. But the director's interview has given insight into why it's been criticised so much.
Let's talk about Kabir, the character, first. He's an asshole, a narcissist, an angry, vile person, not just post Preeti, but even before he meets her. But here's the sum total number of reasons given for why he is the way he is: zero. Everyone in his life makes excuses for him.
Yet, there is no explanation for why they are all suffer him. He doesn't have a mother - did his anger issues come after losing her? Was it privilege? Did he get his heart broken in a relationship where the woman was like Kabir and he was like Preeti? WHY is he an asshole?
And no, the answer cannot be 'he just is'. Because no one 'just' is. There's parenting, there's society, there's patriarchy, and there's mental illnesses. But no one is 'JUST' angry. I have studied in a small town, and I have met many men like Kabir, and every one has a story.
And when you know their story, sometimes, you have empathy. And you try to help. Because most have pain inside, and that's why they are lashing out. Toxic masculinity doesn't exist in a vacuum. It's a consequence of the conditioning of the world around them (or mental illness).
But Kabir has no reason. And when you hear Sandeep, you understand why. Because for him, anger is a 'purist' emotion. 'It means you are sincere'. For Sandeep, your anger is a sign of your good heart. It's not because you have gone through something, it's because you are pure.
And that's the issue. Sandeep doesn't believe that Kabir is a damaged, flawed person, he thinks Kabir is pure. And no, I don't mean that someone flawed/damaged can't be pure. I mean that someone with that level of anger (no matter how sincere), is damaged, and needs therapy ASAP.
Sandeep uses an oft-spoken line of reasoning to justify the character: 'when I watch a crime film, I don't want to be a criminal', and cites examples like Parinda, movies in which crimes had consequences and innocent lives were killed. Which gave background stories to characters.
But refuses to acknowledge that any of the criticism directed at him is valid (everyone who dislikes his films is a 'pseudo', although in the same breath he calls three films Rajeev Masand rated, including Sanju as 'stupid', because, I suppose, only his point of view is valid).
As a writer, Sandeep did disservice to his character by writing him black & white, when, if he would've, either through giving him a backstory that'd make him empathetic, or by giving him a consequence and acknowledging his flaws, he could've created a brilliant character study.
But Sandeep doesn't care about Kabir. Because this isn't about the character. It is about him. And it is about how he views the world. And in his understanding, love is when people hit each other, you can do 'anything' to your woman, claiming right on a woman is not wrong..
If, in the view of his critics, they are right, in his view, he is. But where his critics are pointing out how his character can influence society and that's dangerous, he doesn't just believe the character is already a part of society (which it is), he champions this society.
And that's where the problem is. Sandeep isn't someone who made a film about abusive love, understanding (even if it was begrudging), that it is abusive (even if it was reciprocal), he believes this is PURE LOVE. And women who haven't gone through this haven't experienced 'love'.
He won't consider the pain women who have been in abusive relationships talk of (and from whom much of the criticism came from), and I doubt he would consider it even if it came from men who have been in abusive relationships, because he thinks ONLY his version of love is real.
The thing is, I'm sure there's a story to why Sandeep thinks like this. And why he believes this so deeply. And I would really like to understand that some day. Because I believe that there is a story behind *every* belief/opinion, moral or not. But Sandeep has shown he doesn't.
He says at the end that he wouldn't want his son, named Arjun Reddy, to grow up to be like the character, because then he, a parent, would have to suffer. But he thinks there should be more Preetis in the world - because women perhaps don't deserve the empathy he gives himself.
Sandeep's voice, his film and his character have the right to exist, but where his character is fictional, the pain of the people speaking up against it is real. And their voices have the right to exist too. And if his truth is valid, so are the ones I wish he'd acknowledge.
Took me some time to say it, but there it is. Thank you for the patience and for reading!
(P.S. I did see both films, Kabir Singh, and Arjun Reddy, before writing this post. And I saw the full interview as well. Because otherwise, it wouldn't have been fair for me to give my opinion as I wouldn't have the full context.)
