Thread by @garius

Fucksake. Okay, let's get this exercise in political mediocrity on the road.

Drinking rules for tonight:

1) Drink any time Corbyn says 'Trump Brexit' or 'Trump NHS'
2) Drink any time Boris Johnson tells the truth

Jesus Christ. The Tron reboot was shitter than I remember.

Well that's Boris' intro done. And you won't have had to drink yet if you're following my drinking rules.

If one of the questions asked is 'how many children do you both have?' that will make this worthwhile.

I swear to Christ, it's been THREE YEARS. Can someone PLEASE fix Corbyn's glasses.

Of course this entire debate is now POINTLESS, because Tottenham have sacked Pochetino and he'd be a far better hire for the country than either of these two.

Corbyn trying to highlight that this is the beginning of a seven year trade negotiation is a genuinely good tactic.

Look out everyone. Corbyn's got a folder!

Whatever you think of Labour's Brexit strategy (and it's not a bad position really). Corbyn never saying what he'd campaign on is such an easy shot for Johnson.

One day, a senior politician is going to realise that actually answering question directly would be a helluvah unique selling point.

It won't be either of these two though.

IT'S NOT FUCKING HARD LADS. JUST SAY THE UNION IS MORE IMPORTANT.

Boris trying to explain why he's trustworthy.

Hope they've got some fire extinguishers on the set for when his trousers combust.

That was a good answer from Corbyn because he didn't attack anyone.

It's such an easy approach to use against Johnson, as he's INCAPABLE of holding a point of his own. I don't get why they don't do it more.

Audience laughing as Johnson tells people to look at his record as to a reason to trust him.

"Does the truth matter in this election?"

Boris: "I think it does"

<audience laughs heartily>

Corbyn needs to stay on point and sane here, and he'll win easily as Boris is in full wavey clown mode.

I stand by my belief that in ALL political debates the moderator should have a mute microphone button.

This debate would be so much more fun if Prince Andrew was there answering these questions too.

In fact, forget the moderator having a mute microphone button.

They should have one that just flips everything the person says into a high-pitched helium voice.

MUCH more effective.

Sweet blessed advert break. I never thought I'd be pleased to see you.

Noooooo we're back. 😰

Johnson is terrible when he doesn't have a target. This really highlights how much of a problem Corbyn's individual stance on Brexit is. Because on anything else here he's coming across as the sensible one.

Ouch.

Corbyn nailed johnson there on the 40 hospital thing.

Boris is doing himself no favours here by constantly making everything about Brexit.

He's like a tired old man in a pub who can't talk about anything else.

"To answer this question directly..." Says Boris, giving the biggest clue that he's about to not answer the question directly.

"Now we're going to have a quickfire session..."

Good fucking luck with that.

To be fair, Corbyn nailing it on the quickfire round. Focusing Andrew question back on the victims.

Oooh, you got a little bit of snappy Corbyn there. Man doesn't like being booed.

That final statement shows once again the problem Labour - and Corbyn in particular - have. The only attack lines that always hits home is that Labour are "on the fence" and that Corbyn is being sneaky about which way he'd vote.

Doesn't matter whether they're valid. They work.

And that's me done. I'm off to do something slightly more fun. Like have my teeth pulled or something.