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Thread: (#Ancestry #DNA #PeopleAreNotSecrets #2019vs2018)

As we're heading into the holidays and we recently had a fit of family birthdays, I find it interesting people are already reviewing 2019 before it's over. It's also interesting how many people
Believe the current year was worse than the previous, even when they said the same thing the previous year. In general each person marks each year in relation to their own life. 2019 wasn't as positive as 2018 was but each were better than 2017.
In 2017 I had a difficult work load, a back injury and the loss of my adoptive mother who was the last of my adopted family. In summary it was pretty negative except for a Black Friday sale on @Ancestry DNA tests that changed my life.
I really had no interest in finding my birth family or genealogy but my adoptive mother encouraged it. I was curious what my ethnic background was. So to honor her, I took advantage of the sale that would dramatically change my life in 2018!
I got the test kit, sent it off and received my ethnicity breakdown: good ol' American mongrel. I'm a mutt - almost too many groups were represented to comprehend! But then there were the DNA matched relatives.
So 2018 started with a puzzle. I'm a left brain heavy individual & that was a logic puzzle that had to be solved. I was able to request my unsealed birth certificate to discover who my birth mother is. That led to me finding her an my maternal half sister.
And I got to meet them! I discovered I was an accident that happened when my mother was at university & given up for adoption at birth. Not an unusual story except for the university part - not many people went to university at that time.
That information allowed me to separate the DNA matches into two groups: maternal and paternal. This became easier after my maternal half sister and maternal second cousin also completed DNA tests. That gave me the information needed to start
on my paternal search. Those matches broke down into 3 distinct families: Tütscher, Petronius & Tyneslaw (names changed for privacy). Those DNA matches placed into a normally constructed family tree pointed to a single individual as being my birth father.
With the tree pointing to a specific individual, I had to discover where he & my mother crossed paths. Although he was born in a different state, his divorced mother moved to my home state, got remarried (changing his surname) and he went to the same university as my mother!
That's when my maternal family started asking about a family friend - my mother's childhood friend - who also attended the same university. They thought he might be the father. No DNA matches or any family tree matches to him or his family but...
He was in the same fraternity as my potential birth father!! #GeneticGenealogy & detective work placed an individual with the right DNA mix at the same place at the same time with a mutual close friend. Again, this is at a time when few people went to university.
Now I had answers. That with meeting my birth mother and maternal half sister made 2018 wonderful. And discovering who my more likely than not birth father was fulfilled my adoptive mother's wish. That's when 2019 started to slide to the negative.
I reached out to my paternal family. 2 of my 1st cousins never responded. The 3rd was happy I found them until I discovered who my father is. Then it became ugly fast. It went from "it's wonderful to find you" & "wow, you have the family looks" to...
He said he's not your father, your mother is a crazy lying bitch (she never said who my father was), you're a liar, this is a witch hunt, you're a con artist who faked a DNA test, and so on. Again, right DNA mix at the same place at the same time with a close mutual friend.
If this were an cold case, there's more than enough evidence for a court to request a DNA sample. But it isn't - in fact it's more of a search for family medical history. As I'm getting older, that's becoming more & more important.
In this search I consider each relative I meet to be a blessing. I'm not here to force any situation but it's nice to learn where my family came from. I'm actually becoming interested in history - what an old man thing to do - but it's important to understand who we are.
So, on that front 2019 was kind of a negative. However, outside of my immediate paternal family, everyone I've met has been wonderful. They have shared stories and insights I would have never had. That has made 2019 great.
And there have been many other wonderful things that have made 2019 memorable. I'm really sorry my paternal family didn't work out for the better but their visceral reaction speaks volumes as well. So maybe that's a good thing. 🙄🤔🤣
As John Adams said, “Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.” /end

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