#StarTrekPicard - A Rant.
After watching the most recent episode of #StarTrek #Picard I just feel I have to rage about this show in an overly-long Twitter thread where I put more thought into the series than the actual writers/producers of it did.
Be warned...
After watching the most recent episode of #StarTrek #Picard I just feel I have to rage about this show in an overly-long Twitter thread where I put more thought into the series than the actual writers/producers of it did.
Be warned...
I was initially optimistic about #Picard. I think Michael Chabon is a great writer, I love Patrick Stewart, & I felt like the "course correction" we saw from Secret Hideout in S2 of #StarTrekDiscovery meant the show could be good.
But boy, was I wrong!
But boy, was I wrong!
I mean, there are just SO MANY rudimentary writing mistakes in this show, it's baffling to me that you have both a Pulitzer Prize-Winning author AND an Oscar winning screenwriter working on it. It's truly a trainwreck of epic proportions on the story front.
There were rumors that it was an even BIGGER mess before a series of reshoots, but how that's possible I can't even begin to comprehend, because this shit is so bad as it stands I can't see how it could have been worse. let me just cover the bullshit we got in the latest ep...
So giant space flowers that eat starships - okay. I can accept that. It's not necessarily stupid, just cheesy. It's like Original Series cheesy. This show has been using flowers as metaphors since the first episode so I can give this silly plot point a pass.
What I CAN'T give a pass is this trans-dimensional warp tunnel. Like, WTF? You have what is arguably the greatest leap forward in space travel since Cockran invented the warp drive here! And people in the show treat it like it's the most causal thing in the world to use!
HOW DOES THIS WORK? How do you create these trans-dimensional wormholes? What kind of equipment do you need to generate the field around your ship to keep it from being torn apart? How can Seven & the Borg just "know how to do this"? How does Narek know???
In a single series, we've had a new method of space travel that puts warp drive to shame, AND a teleporter on steroids with a 25,000 lightyear range. It would make sense if the Romulans were on the artifact looking for this tech to give them a tech advantage after the supernova..
BUT THEY'RE NOT. They're just pretending to save assimilated Borg so they can... what? Lure a synthetic spy to the Artifact so they can get her to reveal her world of origin in the most elaborate sting operation ever invented?
The revelation that the Jaht-Vash attacked Mars during the evacuation attempt of their homeworlds also boggles my mind. They literally sacrificed untold millions (billions?) of Romulan lives by attacking Mars during that crisis. They couldn't bother to wait a month or two?
Maybe hold off on their effort to exterminate synthetic life until the Federation could help save their people - you know, the people they're trying to protect from "The Destroyer"? Was there a reason they had to attack Mars right when their population was in the most peril?
Speaking of the Romulans, wtf is going on with their empire? #StarTrekPicard never bothers to explain the political landscape after the supernova. Does the Romulan Empire still exist? The show says the neutral zone no longer exists, yet they have 217 WARBIRDS in service?
So obviously the Romulan military still exists! They also have treaties & shit with the Federation. They have secret hit squads. Borg research programs. But they can't be bothered to protect refugee planets OR ferry their refugee citizens to Romulan controlled planets?
I'd just like to know what the hell is going on here. And don't give me that crap that the supernova was big enough to wipe out multiple star systems like @AntiTrekker argued. This is a show where 8 stars occupy a single star system w/ a habitable planet at its center.
THIS SHOW DOES NOT CARE ABOUT ACTUAL SCIENCE. None of the "science" in this show is realistic or makes any damn sense. Don't argue the radiation effects of a supernova with me when you have synthetic clones made from a single positronic neuron. This show is SCI FANTASY. Period.
Can someone explain to me why Picard's crew is cool with leaving him in the care of a confessed MURDERER while unconscious? You'd think they'd be keeping an eye on Jurati after what she did with Maddox, but instead they're all like "Nah, she's fine" & put Picard at her mercy.
Then there's the larger issue that all these characters seem to have emotional attachments to Picard that are completely unearned. I can understand Raffi & Elnor's connection to Picard, but Rios' & Jurati's bond with him doesn't ring true. Even Seven's bond w/Picard is forced.
Especially considering Picard has basically been a useless asshole this entire season. His treatment of Elnor has been laughably horrendous. The "daddy issues" he's leaving this poor kid with are painful to witness. He's blown Elnor off 3 times by now!
And Brent Spiner showing up as the son of Soong is just laughable. He really looks EXACTLY like his father? And thus EXACTLY like Data? I mean, I love seeing Spiner return, but there should have been a better reasoning here. His introduction was cringe-worthy to the max.
I also find it interesting that the big "revelation" is that the Jaht-Vash were basically right and the synthetics ARE the bad guys who are poised to wipe out organic life. So the "bad guys" were "good guys" all along, which makes Picard the actual villain of his own show!
The ungodly mental gymnastics going on here is truly mindboggling. Picard is the "bad guy." The Romulans are the "good guys." Data's offspring are "evil." The "shocking twist" is that everything we've been told up to now is... accurate?
Seriously, fuck you, show.
Seriously, fuck you, show.
Also, how does stabbing a synth in the eye with a broach kill it? Couldn't they, oh, I don't know, repair the synth who got stabbed? Or are these synths actually organics now? Again, this is never made clear in the show and MAKES NO SENSE.
And how does a synthetic learn how to do Vulcan mind melds? Are mind melds something anyone can learn to do with enough study and practice? I guess Romulans can do them, but they're at least related to Vulcans. Can humans eventually perform mind melds? Can computers do it?
I also can't ignore the set-up with the "gollum." You just know that Picard's mind is going to be transferred to a new synthetic body so that the character of Picard can live on while Patrick Stewart is replaced by a younger (and cheaper) actor.
I mean, if they DON'T do this, I'll be shocked, b/c the set-up is totally there. But, then again, Secret Hideout isn't known for following great set-ups up with actual payoff. So I could be wrong here. But the whole thing with Picard's "terminal illness" screams this will happen.
I could go on for HOURS about everything wrong with this show, but I think I've ranted enough. What do you guys think? Am I off-base here actually expecting my #StarTrek to be good, or at the very least, make a lick of sense? Let me know.
/rant
/rant
