Me: *answers phone* Hi Mami!
Mom: ARE YOU SEEING GIRLS???
Me: Ummmm... I sell custom window fashions for a living- I pretty much see ONLY them.
Mom: BUT ARE YOU SEEING GIRLS PERSONALLY?!
Mom: Your cousin [name withheld] told me that you have a girlfriend.
Me: But I don’t even talk to him. Why would he know about my life.
Two things HUGE things happened in this conversation: My mom lied and I did not.
Me: Hey cuz... Dude, did you tell my mom that I had a girlfriend?
Cousin: That’s horrible! Why would I go around making up stuff like that? I mean, It’s not my business if you do– but that’s messed up.
Call gets more awkward and ends.
Me: Papa... Mami called all weird and mad and said [cousin] told her I have a girlfriend *starts crying* so I called him and he said he didn’t and WHO TOLD HER?!
Dad: She was confused about your last couple of calls and about where you were living. So I told her that you’d moved in with your partner.
Me: *insert sound of my jaw hitting the floor*
Dad: I hope you’re staying independent while living with her though. It’s hard when she’s older and I don’t know if she’s ever dated anyone from another culture, so just be careful and be safe.
Dad: Look, you’re my daughter. My first-born. I spent more time raising you than your mother. I know you.
Me: But... I... Whaaaaaaaaaaat?
Dad: It’s going to take some time for your mom to adjust, but she’ll be fine. Just make sure you stay independent. I don’t want you relying on other people- I raised you better than that.