I’m having one of those days where I kind of want to write a thread, but I also feel so brain-clouded that I’m not sure I could articulate my thoughts properly.
Mostly I am doing pretty well on higher Lamictal/lower Wellbutrin. Fewer physical anxiety responses. All things being equal/medicated, the anxious thoughts remaining are the sediment I get to cognitive-therapy my way through.
I had to figure out there’s a difference between having a general panic attack for no particular reason, and my brain trying to talk me out of being excited about writing because self-sabotage. Medication actually alleviates the former. The latter is up to me.
This isn’t even the topic I was considering. But. I get kind of riled when people say, “I could never go on antidepressants, they’d turn me into a zombie, I wouldn’t have feelings anymore.” When I’m properly medicated, I get to feel my *actual* feelings.
I really kind of bloomed in college once I started Zoloft, because suddenly I wasn’t an anxious, angry, cowed teenager anymore. Antidepressants lifted that fog and I got to find out who I actually was and actually could be.
Anyway, that’s my periodic PSA that if you actually do somehow “lose your feelings” on a medication, it may be that that med, that dose of that med, or medication in general is not right for you. When they do work for someone, they can really, really help.
