Thread by @DarthPutinKGB

Trump wrote me a poem:

I am the very model of a modern far-right president:
I only use three adjectives, and I am never hesitant
To tweet my stable genius to all around. I love to say
My greatest gift to knowledge is that cryptic code word, "Covfefe."

To Democrats I’m scathing, and I miss no chance to pillory
My predecessor and his Secretáry of State, Hillary;
Of moderating voices I make yugely sure that none remains,
By character assassinating Joe Bidens and John McCains.

My presidential style is quite insufferably populist,
In marital fidelity I am a faithless copulist.
My loyalty's a fairy story just as wild as Narnia:
I paid off Stormy Daniels while married to Melania.

I try to bully China with more submarines and greater ships
While envying those presidents who run their own dictatorships.
I’m jealous of the State Department. I wish I could call it off.
I model foreign policy on Ribbentrop and Molotov.

My idol’s Louis Quatorze. I hate balance constitutional.
I am the state. I stir up hate, and I know that pollution’ll
Destroy the world around us, and the climate, which is bitch enough,
But hey, you can escape to my golf courses, if you’re rich enough.

I pander to the Christian right with pious shows of hymns and grants
While showing Christian charity by demonizing immigrants.
I insult blacks, gays, Muslims, Mexicans, and do it endlessly.
I loathe the New York Times, and CNN, and MSNBC.

I‘ll never rest in my attempts to make the US grate again,
I despise all alliances, I just make my base hate again.
With luck, by 2020 I’ll have pissed off every resident:
Pray God that I’m a model of a modern one-term president.

First drawn to the Prez's attention on @ChrisRoper's TL. Author unknown