Thread by @DaddysFave_

My HORRIBLE twitter hookup: A Thread

The identity of the person will be altered so as to keep them anonymous and certain information will be slightly altered but the events shall remain as factual and disappointing as ever 😊

It was November 2018 and my GPA was good but my love life was in shambles. I had been single for while and as you can guess I was a proud member of "Niggas ain't shit twitter" so I was on my usual online campaign.

There was this guy who was all up in my notifications liking and retweeting and commenting. I knew it was only a matter of time before he hopped in my DM and I was prepared for him, since my friends were on me about living a little

As expected, "Rupert" was real sweet. He had charm for days and he was super polite. He was not at all what I expected. Rupert drop honey inna me eye dem (since it was twitter after all, I'm only seeing his words). Tune eediat me time

So boom, we exchange numbers and ting. Mind you enuh at this time me not even know Rupert real name, just by his Twitter name. So there was going to be a party at a popular place in kgn so we decided to meet up there. He insisted on picking me up.

Rule #1: NEVER let a guy know where you live until it's like serious thing. Even tho Rupie have me a way like the claffy my sex deprived self was I didn't let him pick me up at my house. He picked me up from my friend's place. It was at that moment that I learned this nigga name

Me affi tek time talk enuh, cause him fren popular over here and me nuh want dem tek weh me papers. So me won't even describe "Rupert" or what him drive

So we went out and we at this chill spot dancing and ting. Now some sugar daddies and mommies were in the building. So yuh know Seh Uncle Rupert ting nuh water dung enuh. Idk why but this lady came and started dancing on me rubbing me down

Dirty Rupie him now run come 😒 "I like girls who like girls". I was too lit to care cause me come fi have fun and the energy was right. We went to another party and then I told him I wanted to go home. This was now 4 a.m in the morning

We kissed when he dropped me home, but that was it. My fool fool self did a form crush fi boy when homie oil a ride him fi come grind out my likkle meat

So we talked for a couple of weeks and December come and bwoii get bold and tell me seh him want 🐱. So me a seh yeah,cause me like him now enuh so me a saggle up miself fi go to werk

So we meet up in HWT and him nervous as hell. So we stopped to get him some liquid courage. At this point me start realize seh a my "yard" him waan come. So yuh know me affi come wid a quick YET BELIEVEABLE excuse. So I told him I had a roomie 😊☺

At this point when we left the bar, we heading NORTH and the liquid courage reach me now, Lil old me start suck pon him sausage so. Like me a look belly full. Maasa, me mada did waan see me tpc 😂😂😂😂😂

Rmbr people I told this man me have roomie. So we drive until him find a spot at a popular place behind Jesus fi park up. We started kissing and shit until he told me to undress and play with myself. While he watched and stroked his dick

People!!!!! Seat well set back enuh, foot pon dashboard, pumpum well skin out and a sing "hello world" only fi see one phone light a come towards the car. Nuh one farmer a come from bush. And Rupert him still a stroke him dick and a laugh. What a sumn pon me

First Disappointment: I asked this nigga to finger me. Let's just say Drake knew what he meant when he coined the term Twitter fingers.....

Now because of reasons beyond my control we had to leave the car. So yuh know me the goodest gyal in all the land gone a bush now. People the boy bend me over estill d me think in fi a piece a work out..... lol NOPE

Second Disappoinment: Literally 3 mins after Rupert a stab and a mumble (cause that sure ain't sex talk) uncle cum. My hands dem deh a grung and me coulda feel me front a malice me. Hear him now "next time you'll get yours"

We in the car now and guess weh uncle him seh??????
HIM HUNGRY! The sex open him appetite, people a that alone it open. Cause everything pon me shut dung. Throat dry, front dry, everything dry.

But cause me like boy me agree to a second attempt. Loooooooool unuh rmbr Purple Touch? Yeah, dat did more exciting

I always see people put a moral the end of these threads but me nuh really know wah fi seh except. Nuh mek dem cancel me permit ova yah enuh 😂😂😂😂😂😂