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BREAKING NEWS from #NevadaCaucus: Bernie has won and that means he won the Democratic nomination and Trump has automatically won 2020 and Republicans have taken the House and Senate and I for one welcome my authoritarian overlord and Chosen One!

Or...
BREAKING NEWS from #NevadaCaucus: Bernie has won and that means he won the Democratic nomination and the 2020 Presidency and now there is a revolution all across America and I for one welcome my Democratic Socialist Shaikh and Chosen One and will troll all his enemies!

Or...
BREAKING NEWS from #NevadaCaucus: Bernie won & that means there's an appetite for a progressive platform & he has organized an impressive grassroots coalition for the past 5 years but he needs support from Democrats & Independents to beat Trump. I welcome this confusion!

Or...
BREAKING NEWS from #NevadaCaucus: Bernie has won and he is now the Democratic front runner and nobody knows anything and there's 9 months to the election and I will do everything to support Democrats to vote out Trump and Republicans who are a threat to our democracy.

End.
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