Thread by @usnehal

Directness & saying what you mean is important. The receiver also needs to be ready to tolerate this. Society & business places tend to prefer the passive aggressive so being direct does invoke blowback.

https://twitter.com/TeachMrReed/status/1477409562105950208

There is particular social cost to being direct & going against social norms

if your optics/demographics invoke mental models …say of expected discretion, “civility”, or “be kind” or “softness”

OR

if mental model invoked is “angry Black woman/man”

fastcompany.com/90413951/women…

“Be kind” is red flag: it identifies the passive aggressive shushing/shaming people who are threatened by @candor & perceive directness as aggression. It’s a fixed mindset trait or a negative consequence when empathy/emotions overindexed in ways to block growth & learning.

Growth, learning, honesty are all inherently uncomfortable. “Civility” has a sinister side of suppressing anything or anyone who triggers another’s discomfort. Civility mislabels & shames change agents to protect the status quo vs disruption/improvement).

aaup.org/JAF10/compulso…

From my own time in #compliance, observed that a barrier to critical thinking & open debate is who is put into these roles: “nice”, rule-enforcing, women bring a gender-driven suppressive “civility” culture, suppressing creativity
& can be anti-#DEI even
law.com/corpcounsel/20…

That women in #compliance have adapted to this reality

is not necessarily “their fault”

they themselves become perfectionist, as a result of their experience as women, unwilling to embrace #growthmindset & failure

then enforce own narrowness on others

marketwatch.com/story/how-word…

#Compliance field will select for perfectionists & #perfectionism & #impostersyndrome which tend to be negative, traits, actually, though often wrongly equated with #professionalism. If you believe *you* are unworthy/do not belong, & in compliance/#HR, what culture do you drive?

Problem is that #perfectionism - which #compliance (who polices “civility”) attracts to its field - linked to #anxiety & #depression, even #suicidalideation.

Working in compliance & people/mindset within➡️poor #mentalhealth

#SuicidePrevention

psychiatryadvisor.com/home/topics/su…

#Compliance/#HR requires being detail oriented

“that happier moods promote a greater focus on the forest and sadder moods a greater focus on the trees”

➡️You can’t be strategic/big picture when you are seeing details/trees out of fear/anxiety/low mood

journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.111…