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David Burge @iowahawkblog
, 12 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
Today's #GloomyDave forecast: Doctor Frostenstein reanimates the long dead corpse of the Big Red Machine, wreaks vengeance on hapless Hawkeyes by evening the score for the last 3 years

Iowa 44
Nebraska 124
The only scoreboard that counts: 186-179, bitches
And that's without ghey performance-enhancing center pivot irrigation
#BOOMROASTED
2017 scoreboard, per World of Corn
Yield: Iowa 202 bushels/acre, Nebraska 181
Production: Iowa 2,605,800 bushels, Nebraska 1,683,300

Don't hate the player Nebraska, hate the game.
worldofcorn.com/#us-corn-produ…
Quintessential film scenes: Iowa vs Nebraska
is it just me or do Nebraska fans sound like penniless deposed Pashas in a 1938 Istanbul cafe angrily promising the return of the Ottoman Empire
I guess Nebraska Furniture Mart is an ottoman empire of sorts
Yes, puns are a low form of comedy, but that there is High Art you philistines
At the end of the day, we have to evaluate where Nebraska's program is. #FireFerentz
by the way, how much beer is there in heaven?
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All Nerds, Bow Before Your King
keep practicing, and some day hot Spanish girls will pay you to caress their locks with your sweet katana moves and Wolverine claws
Take it from ol' Dave: chicks will start paying attention if you give 'em a little peekaboo unbuttoned shirt action, especially the bottom buttons
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Sonics, "Louie Louie" > original by Richard Berry. Both are classics in their own right, but the Sonics version is definitive and arguably the first headbanger record ever made
Richard Berry's original is a fine mid-tempo R&B shuffle...
...rediscovered by Tacoma WA band Rockin' Robin Roberts & the Wailers a few years later...
Read 4 tweets
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This is why you can't trust Wikipedia. Sure, I'm dead, but obviously my poetry is not "humorously bad"
my ghostly apparition remains floating in this mortal coil only to haunt the critics of my poetry
Someday, my doggerel will be universally proclaimed the finest works of art ever produced by a human being. Until then, I will remain in your timeline, eerily rattling my chains and dropping fart jokes
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Today mom and I talked about the way my father died a few years ago. I’ve always felt like I should get really real about it because it might help somebody not make the same choices, but it’s really depressing. Marsha Cooke’s plea for people to quit smoking made today the day.
There’s two main ways smoking is going to kill you; cancer or lung disease — aka Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease aka COPD. The latter is what got my dad, as it did Leonard Nimoy and millions of other Americans. If you smoke enough, statistically you will get one of them.
My father smokes for decades and quit smoking more than than ten years before it killed him. He felt fine for years. He even felt good. But as we age our lungs naturally degrade. That’s why many older people have shortness of breath. Smoking accelerates the degradation hugely.
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Big & exciting day today: I'm in the car with three Lord's Resistance Army defectors. We're on the way to Gulu, northern Uganda, where they'll be reunited with their families for the first time in 16 years. They look serious in this pic, but really everyone is all smiles (Thread)
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1) There’s a lot of BS about @nntaleb’s Black Swan, antifragility & skin in da game. Let’s take the gloves off and get into trouble.
2) When the Swan flew out, it was immediately butchered by imbeciles not understanding that you can’t predict the unpredictable.

That is the point – and an IQ filter NNT himself proly did not expect.
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Can you get it?
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