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The Wooing of Etain is a lovely story about the Celtic otherworld. I’ll tell it tonight at half nine. Please retweet 
If there are any Longford people (and it’s doubtful) you will be pleased to know that tonight’s story is about your county - Bri Leith is an important otherworld site - it is Ardagh Hill #Etain
Ardagh Hill in County Longford is an important entrance to the Celtic otherworld - and here we find the otherworld king Midir and his wife the lovely Etain (anglicised Aideen) #Etain
But Midir's first wife - yep, otherworld kings have many wives - is jealous. Consulting with a druid she turns the lovely Etain into a dragon fly and conjures up a magical storm. Etain is blown away to Bru na Boine - Newgrange - the home of god Oengus Og #Etain
The god Oengus recognises Etain (event tho she is in the shape of a dragon fly) and accommodates her in his fort - but the jealous wife hears of this and arranges for another storm to blow Etain further away #Etain
Flying before the storm Etain comes to Ulster where she falls through the roof of a house, into the drink of the kings wife (stay with me here), is drank. The king's wife becomes pregnant and Etain is reborn. #Etain
Meanwhile, at Tara, the Festival is about to begin - but someone remembers that a king without a wife has no claim to the throne (an important theme in Irish myth). "Hi king, Where's your wife" "I don't have one""You are in trouble so""I'd better find one so" #Etain
Word is sent throughout the land - the king needs a wife and sure enough the lovely Etain is chosen - now I guess you are going to think that her otherworldly husband - Midir - is going to come looking for her - and sure enough there'll be trouble #Etain
The king of Tara marries Etain and everything is great. However...…….. Midir arrives in the guise of a noble "Howya" "Howya, yerself - would you fancy a game which is similar to chess but which we Celts call fidcell" asks Midir "Are you a gambling man?" #Etain
The king and Midir play chess and Midir loses "Hey Midir, seen as you lost I want you to clear all the rocks from the entire Plain of Meath". "OK - but we'll play again when I'm finished" "sure" smiled the king #Etain
Again they play and again Midir loses "Midir" said the king "You did a great job with the rocks, now you will clear the bogs away" "OK" said Midir "but we'll play again when I'm finished" *sucker* thinks the king #Etain
"Let's raise the stakes" said Midir "If I win, you will give me one (as yet unspecified) wish" "Sure" said the king "sure, what can go wrong" So they play and the king loses. "You wife!" said Midir "What about her" "I won her" "Wha" "yup" "Come on" "We agreed" #Etain
Midir explains that he's really Etain's otherworldly husband - before the marriage to the king of Tara, before the storm, shape shifting, rebirth, dragon fly time "have you any recollection at all?" "Its all coming back to me now" they assume the form of swans and fly away #Etain
The king of Tara is not best pleased "I certainly didn't expect to lose my lovely wife, not will I accept it - let's get the army lads and attack random otherworldly forts" "Hurrah" said the army at the thoughts of a bot of fighting #Etain
So they all march down to Tipperary and commence to dig up the sidhe (fairy mound) of Sid Ban Find - Slievenamon "come out you bloody fairies" said the Tara men. the Tipperary fairies come out "Story boys" what are ye doing to our mound" #Etain
"We are looking for the king's wife -is she in there" said the Tara men. "Why would you think she is in here" said the Tipperary fairies "Where is she?" "We suspect" said the bewildered fairies " that she might be up in Longford, in Ardagh" #Etain
The men of Tara march up to Ardagh and dig up the famous mound of Bri Leith but having spent the day digging they found that at night their work was undone. After several days digging "This is very annoying" they said #Etain
Having no luck at the digging, the men of Tara march back down to Tipperary. The Tipperary fairies see them coming "quick, think of something to tell them" "Howya boys" "Howya" said the fairies "Blind puppies and kittens" "What" ask the men of Tara #Etain
"Blind puppies and kittens! if you bring a load of puppies and kittens to Longford and leave them outside the fort, Midir will come out" "Really?" ask the men of Tara "Rally" said the fairies sheepishly #Etain
The men of Tara leave loads of puppies and kittens outside Midir's fort. They, like us, were sceptical.. but sure enough, Midir himself comes out" "Story boys" "Howya Midir, where's my wife" said the king. "Our wife" corrects Midir #Etain
"I'll tell you what" said Midir "go home to Tara and I will call down in a few days" "Is this another trick" asks the king "Midir gives the king a wounded look "Trust me" #Etain
Midir arrives at Tara "Howya lads" "Howya" "Here's the deal" said Midir "I have with me 50 identical looking Etains, if you can guess which is the real Etain, you can have her" "do we have any say in this" ask 50 Etains #Etain
"No bother" said the king "I'd recognise her by the way she pours drink - pour away girls". The girls pour and the king watches closely. "Aha, it's Etain number 35, I'd recognise the pour anywhere" "You got me" said Midir and he and the 49 Etains leave #Etain
The king of Tara has Etain back, is delighted and has a baby by her. Midir arrives. "Howya Midir, I surprised to see you" "Howya, Tara, I couldn't resist the opportunity to humiliate you after you making me clear all them bloody rocks, not to mention digging up my fort #Etain
"Even tho" sneered Midir "the Etain that you picked looks like Etain, she is not really Etain at all - she is in fact Etain's daughter" "Get out of here" said the king "I am not at all sure how all this happens" "me neither" said Midir "just remember we are in fairyland" #Etain
So, Etain, an otherworldly goddess is transposed into the mortal world by the jealousy of the gods, marries a mortal and is abducted back into the otherworld by her otherworldly husband - what's not to love about this story #Etain
That's the story of Etain. I'm promoting the ancient Irish stories - the more followers the further the stories go - please retweet. join me again tomorrow night #IrishMyth
