#Narcissism thread 🧵 15 (more) questions to ask yourself if you are questioning whether someone is a #narcissist
1. Do they devalue, diminish, demonise or harshly judge you or act as the righteous ‘authority’ figure with you regardless of their age, status or employment? 🚩
Are they #superior? For e.g. A non lawyer preaching to a lawyer about law. 2. Are they #defensive? Do they seem only interested in trying to prove that they are right & you are wrong, in a defensive mode? 🚩They are #competitive not co-operative. Co-operation is a must #healthy
3. Do they demand #attention from you? For e.g., insisting on having the conversation when it’s convenient for them only &/or use emotional #manipulation to ensure conversation happens on ‘their’ terms? They may not answer the question, go off topic, deflect, defensive, accuse 🚩
4. Do they #dominate the conversation? Do they speak more than listen? Do they insist that you are not listening to them to justify why they keep speaking? Do they interrupt you? Do they let you finish your sentences? Do they answer your questions? Is it a merry-go-round? 🤯 🚩
5. #Blaming and #shaming Do they blame you for conflict, being triggered or their discomfort? Do they say “you did/you are” rather than take ownership over their own experience by using “I” statements? Do they make you ‘wrong’ so that they can be ‘right’? 🚩#youarewrong #iamright
They must Win at all costs & be right all the time. 🚩This is not about co-operation. It is about #competition They are not committed to resolving an issue with you, Because they come from a #competitive #mindset #winatallcosts #imthewinner #MentalHealthMatters #mentalillness
6. Do they focus on correcting your #grammar and word use? 🚩Do they explain back to you what you meant to say? 🚩Do they accuse you of using the wrong tone with them? It is done on purpose to confuse No #resolution #grammarnazi #distortion #Switch #narcissisticabuse #confused
Do they #threaten 🚩to end the conversation unless you use appropriate words & tone with them & then follow the threat with a statement about honouring their #boundaries despite them being the one #Raging at you? Is this #Patterns #rage #narcissisticabuse #narcissism #psychology
7. Do their #feelings & needs seem to matter more than yours? 🚩 Do they overpower #conversation with intense #emotions &/or rages, volume of their voice & rapid speech? 🚩Is it hard for you to keep up with what they are saying? Are they almost #spitting at you in their #Speech?
8. Do they digress to #victimhood with you in the conversation? Rather than answer the question, do they respond with how “hard things are for them”, that they “don’t need this right now” or that “they work very very hard” or “lets focus on a more important topic” (theirs) 🚩🚩🚩
This is done so that you don’t get to voice your #needs & to abort the conversation at hand. They are not interested in #conflictresolution or resolving the issue at hand. You will feel #confused #frustrated &/or like you are going #crazy Do not allow this #crazymaking #confused
9. Do they seem to have black-and-white thinking? Are their rules of what’s #right their perceptions of the conflict & how things work dominate because they see more of the #truth than you do? #theirtruth #thoughts #TheyAreTERRORISTS
Are they unable to access curiosity, be calm, take time, allow for pauses in the conversation or reflect, think on feedback given to them about their #behaviours? See all sides of the issue? #anger #CALM #Peace #resolutions #mediation #negotiation #therapy #TherapistTwitter
10. Do they ever give an #apology? If so, is it genuine? Do they ever take #responsibility for their contribution to conflict? Do they admit wrong doing? Do they use statements like “I’m sorry you feel that way”? “It wasn’t my intention”? “You misunderstood me”? 🚩#Accountability
“I don’t remember that happening”? “I have no knowledge of that”, “this is news to me”, “I don’t remember that”, “that didn’t happen” Or “yes I did that because you made me 🚩These people are bad for your #mentalhealth #manipulation #lietome #deception #lies #badforyour #mental
11. #Interrupting Do they cut you off from what you are saying? Are they preventing you from being able to finish your sentence? This is a #dominance tactic. Do they speak over you, speak louder, get #angry yell at you? 🚩This is dominance over you #narcissism #competition #toxic
12. #Gaslighting Do they invalidate your experience of their behaviour & project their preferred version of what happened so that they can be right? Do they deny, accuse, attack you? Do they attempt to deny your reality? 🚩They may use #DARVO #theyhavetoberight #REALITY #crazy
D: Deny, disagree
A: Attack yell or rage
R: Reverse the times
V: I’m the ‘victim’ here & you are the perpetrator, make #falseaccusations
O: whilst you confronted them on their behavior, they have made you #offender #darvo #toxic #narcissism #mentalhealth #PsychologicalThriller
13. #Ghosting Do they #disappear or go silent so that you can feel the extent of their hurt? Do they justify this to themselves as as enforcing boundaries and needing some space from the situation, without giving you a time frame? 🚩 #Control #manipulation #mentalillness
14. Managing #conflict or concerns. When you raise a concern with them do they get #angry argumentative, #offended #offensive in their response to you? Do they lose their ability to self regulate? Do they get intense, scary, angry or rageful? Revengeful? #doxxing #abused 🚩💥🤯
15. Do you feel like you’re on a #rollercoaster & no matter what you say or do, the issue at hand is never going to be resolved? If so, you ARE right, it’s not going be resolved. Time to Put that in the ‘unresolved issues’ bucket or time to move on from that person #MentalHealth
Why do #narcissists do this? To escape #Accountability plain & simple. How to defend yourself from a #Narcissist?That’s a whole other thread 🧵 Good luck on picking out the #narcissist in your life! 🥳 When you do detangle yourself from them & get them out of your life! 🎉🎊👏
P.S. Their ego takes over so that they can no longer access critical thinking, and #empathy & other skills required for self-awareness #REFLECTION #connection & conflict resolution. A #narcissist does not have the ability to self regulate and resolve conflicts & concerns #moveon

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More from @TaniaAMarshall

Jan 24
#Suicide by Clinic-Referred #Transgender #Adolescents in the United Kingdom. Great piece here urging us to reflect upon & think about, if evidence based #science is still your thing. Biggs (2022) conclusion asks us to question #medical responsibility. researchgate.net/publication/35…
How do we know if we are acting responsibly when we are offering ‘information’? What information are we offering? What if that information is on risk for #selfharm & #suicide? As a part of our daily #dutyofcare part of the #safeguarding process?
What about if that information is relied upon when we obtain parental consent for intervention with #children & #adolescents? What if that information isn’t true, is inaccurate, exaggerated, inflated, distorted? #science
Read 7 tweets
Jan 23
1. #Narcissism Thread: What is the quickest way to tell if someone is a #narcissist? 🚩Raise a concern with them. Hands down this works Every. Single. Time. #Narcissists are unable to manage conflict. By conflict, I mean be cooperative & problem solve concerns or disagreements
2. I mean being held accountable or addressing a concern with the genuine interest in resolving it. Resolving issues are important to healthy relationships, #trust boundaries & safety. When issues remain unresolved between #Psychology #abused
3. Couples, family members, groups, organisations, it leads to #resentment, #anger & #contempt. This is why: Say you raise an issue with your partner that’s of a concern to you. Your partner disagrees 🚩 & it doesn’t seem like she is listening to you. 🚩You keep trying to express
Read 25 tweets
Jan 23
Notes from my book: Receiving many messages, DM’s & emails over ‘safeguarding’. I have worked in this industry for 30 years. Safeguarding chapter: #MentalHeath professionals are human & make mistakes, because they are human. They are first & fore-mostly trained in #safeguarding
Their ethos is to ‘Do No Harm’. Most people don’t understand what this means. #Therapists & mental health professionals disagree on many issues. They are divided on what safeguarding means to them #Childsafety & #childprotection have always been fraught by #childsafety challenges
In 2015, I began raising #safeguarding concerns with My regulatory board & the #psychology organisations. These were serious concerns. Over those years, I was ignored, brushed off, #silenced or told it wasn’t a problem. The Australian Senate held an #inquiry into our regulatory
Read 25 tweets
Jan 22
#Civil and intelligent conversation That involves #criticalthinking skills,self-regulation, #reflection, mutual respect respectful debate, direct conversation are #socialskills all research based Scientific evidence is highly encouraged here. I encourage this on my
Twitter feed to engage in civil #discourse
To #question everything, to be self-aware and insightful,
to allow open #transparent #ooen conversations & discourse free of denial, not listening, talking over others, not letting them finish their sentences, being angry and rageful.
These #behaviors do nothing to advance any cause. #Safeguarders & mediators are very important to the well-being of children miners and disabled adults. when it comes to #childsafety anyone who mocks child safety needs to seriously reflect and/or take A child safety course.
Read 15 tweets
Jan 22
Autistic Women & medical conditions thread 🧵 RE: Common #Medical symptoms and conditions in #autisticgirls #autisticwomen
By @sbaroncohen et. al I feel this research study has implication on #autisticgirls #gender #ROGD #trans #detrans In my #Autism clinic it has
been common to hear about #puberty #Dysphoria
Menstrual problems, #PMDD #PCOS & #endometriosis What is really nice for clinicians is when we see research that backs up our clinical work. In consideration Of #gender distress #dysphoria #ROGD we should be considering this research ImageImageImage
In making clinical decisions that impact #autisticgirls #autisticwomen with #ROGD #trans #detrans This July 2021 study looked at common medical conditions in #autistic females.
For some time, researchers have been investigating #sexbias in #autism diagnosis. #Medical
Read 18 tweets
Jan 19
Involving children in your paraphilliac transvestism fetishism is, at best, a non-contact sexual offence and a safeguarding issue. Involving children in your tranvestitie fetishism is a safeguarding issue. Need I go on #safeguarding @children
Our very basic response to is that paraphilias emerge when masturbation fantasies become addictive & uncontrolled & therefore do not naturally occur in pre pubescent boys who have yet to masturbate? Why are sexualised behaviours in pre pubescent boys not seen as red flags? #abuse
I don’t understand this. Why are #therapists clinicians and #psychologists not be trained that safeguarding is a part of their job! Why aren’t children being safeguarding by clinicians? It is your job! #childsafety
Read 10 tweets

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