Thread by @TaniaAMarshall

#Narcissism thread 🧵 15 (more) questions to ask yourself if you are questioning whether someone is a #narcissist
1. Do they devalue, diminish, demonise or harshly judge you or act as the righteous ‘authority’ figure with you regardless of their age, status or employment? 🚩

Are they #superior? For e.g. A non lawyer preaching to a lawyer about law. 2. Are they #defensive? Do they seem only interested in trying to prove that they are right & you are wrong, in a defensive mode? 🚩They are #competitive not co-operative. Co-operation is a must #healthy

3. Do they demand #attention from you? For e.g., insisting on having the conversation when it’s convenient for them only &/or use emotional #manipulation to ensure conversation happens on ‘their’ terms? They may not answer the question, go off topic, deflect, defensive, accuse 🚩

4. Do they #dominate the conversation? Do they speak more than listen? Do they insist that you are not listening to them to justify why they keep speaking? Do they interrupt you? Do they let you finish your sentences? Do they answer your questions? Is it a merry-go-round? 🤯 🚩

5. #Blaming and #shaming Do they blame you for conflict, being triggered or their discomfort? Do they say “you did/you are” rather than take ownership over their own experience by using “I” statements? Do they make you ‘wrong’ so that they can be ‘right’? 🚩#youarewrong #iamright

They must Win at all costs & be right all the time. 🚩This is not about co-operation. It is about #competition They are not committed to resolving an issue with you, Because they come from a #competitive #mindset #winatallcosts #imthewinner #MentalHealthMatters #mentalillness

6. Do they focus on correcting your #grammar and word use? 🚩Do they explain back to you what you meant to say? 🚩Do they accuse you of using the wrong tone with them? It is done on purpose to confuse No #resolution #grammarnazi #distortion #Switch #narcissisticabuse #confused

Do they #threaten 🚩to end the conversation unless you use appropriate words & tone with them & then follow the threat with a statement about honouring their #boundaries despite them being the one #Raging at you? Is this #Patterns #rage #narcissisticabuse #narcissism #psychology

7. Do their #feelings & needs seem to matter more than yours? 🚩 Do they overpower #conversation with intense #emotions &/or rages, volume of their voice & rapid speech? 🚩Is it hard for you to keep up with what they are saying? Are they almost #spitting at you in their #Speech?

8. Do they digress to #victimhood with you in the conversation? Rather than answer the question, do they respond with how “hard things are for them”, that they “don’t need this right now” or that “they work very very hard” or “lets focus on a more important topic” (theirs) 🚩🚩🚩

This is done so that you don’t get to voice your #needs & to abort the conversation at hand. They are not interested in #conflictresolution or resolving the issue at hand. You will feel #confused #frustrated &/or like you are going #crazy Do not allow this #crazymaking #confused

9. Do they seem to have black-and-white thinking? Are their rules of what’s #right their perceptions of the conflict & how things work dominate because they see more of the #truth than you do? #theirtruth #thoughts #TheyAreTERRORISTS

Are they unable to access curiosity, be calm, take time, allow for pauses in the conversation or reflect, think on feedback given to them about their #behaviours? See all sides of the issue? #anger #CALM #Peace #resolutions #mediation #negotiation #therapy #TherapistTwitter

10. Do they ever give an #apology? If so, is it genuine? Do they ever take #responsibility for their contribution to conflict? Do they admit wrong doing? Do they use statements like “I’m sorry you feel that way”? “It wasn’t my intention”? “You misunderstood me”? 🚩#Accountability

“I don’t remember that happening”? “I have no knowledge of that”, “this is news to me”, “I don’t remember that”, “that didn’t happen” Or “yes I did that because you made me 🚩These people are bad for your #mentalhealth #manipulation #lietome #deception #lies #badforyour #mental

11. #Interrupting Do they cut you off from what you are saying? Are they preventing you from being able to finish your sentence? This is a #dominance tactic. Do they speak over you, speak louder, get #angry yell at you? 🚩This is dominance over you #narcissism #competition #toxic

12. #Gaslighting Do they invalidate your experience of their behaviour & project their preferred version of what happened so that they can be right? Do they deny, accuse, attack you? Do they attempt to deny your reality? 🚩They may use #DARVO #theyhavetoberight #REALITY #crazy

D: Deny, disagree
A: Attack yell or rage
R: Reverse the times
V: I’m the ‘victim’ here & you are the perpetrator, make #falseaccusations
O: whilst you confronted them on their behavior, they have made you #offender #darvo #toxic #narcissism #mentalhealth #PsychologicalThriller

13. #Ghosting Do they #disappear or go silent so that you can feel the extent of their hurt? Do they justify this to themselves as as enforcing boundaries and needing some space from the situation, without giving you a time frame? 🚩 #Control #manipulation #mentalillness

14. Managing #conflict or concerns. When you raise a concern with them do they get #angry argumentative, #offended #offensive in their response to you? Do they lose their ability to self regulate? Do they get intense, scary, angry or rageful? Revengeful? #doxxing #abused 🚩💥🤯

15. Do you feel like you’re on a #rollercoaster & no matter what you say or do, the issue at hand is never going to be resolved? If so, you ARE right, it’s not going be resolved. Time to Put that in the ‘unresolved issues’ bucket or time to move on from that person #MentalHealth

Why do #narcissists do this? To escape #Accountability plain & simple. How to defend yourself from a #Narcissist?That’s a whole other thread 🧵 Good luck on picking out the #narcissist in your life! 🥳 When you do detangle yourself from them & get them out of your life! 🎉🎊👏

P.S. Their ego takes over so that they can no longer access critical thinking, and #empathy & other skills required for self-awareness #REFLECTION #connection & conflict resolution. A #narcissist does not have the ability to self regulate and resolve conflicts & concerns #moveon