1. I know I said I'd keep politics off this account but I've more followers here than on my other one so football fans bear with me & ignore this thread as I pay tribute to the most important family in history.
2 For centuries the media has airbrushed the achievements of the Corbyns from history. My new book (available soon) attempts to redress the balance & allow these heroes their proper place in the affections of the masses. They are: 
3 Corbinus, who tried to bring peace to Roman Britain and whose 'long game' saw the Romans depart in less than 400 years.
4 Corbred The Great, who tried to establish gender-neutral cookery only for the Daily Chainmail to accuse him of burning cakes, thus 'proving' the kitchen was no place for men.
5 Corbward The Woke, more pacific than his cousin Hereward. He sought to see the good side of the Norman conquest but an ungrateful William The Conqueror photoshopped him out of the Bayeux Tapestry.
6 Corobyn Hood, who wanted to redistribute wealth from the rich to the poor & who strove to prevent illegal wars against the Muslim world by founding 'Stop the Crusades'
7 Blairheart, the evil warmonger whose campaign against Edward I was a distraction from Jerome de Corbfort's plans to end anti-Semitism in England by getting the King to expel all the Jews.
8 Corb Tyler, leader of the Peasants' Revolt against the Poll Tax and inspiration for the fight against the same tax six centuries later.
9 'Agentcorb' whose plans to end English rule in France were foiled by mistranslations and mispronunciations that led to Diane of Harc being burned at the stake
10 Jeztopher Corbumbus, who grasped instantly that the 'discovery' of the New World would lead to genocide, slavery and - worst of all - American imperialism.
11 Good Queen Jezz who wanted to end war with Spain by asking the troops at Tilbury to lay down their arms & wanted to set up a fund to help distressed families of survivors of the Spanish Armada - but not the piratical English ones.
12 Jeziver Cromwell, who rebelled agains his brother Oliver by setting up the Roundheads Out Movement in Ireland & opposed Oliver's plans to re-introduce anti-Semitism by letting the Jews back into England.
13 Corobespierre, inspiration of the French Revolution whose 'Liberté, égalité, fraternité' was almost as good a slogan as #JezWeCan
14 Jez Ludd, man behind the progressive, forward-looking machine breaking of the early 19th Century and mentor to Karl Marx.
15 Jezmarck, who ended centuries of warfare in Central Europe by uniting Germany yet was unfairly painted by the British media as some kind of Prussian militarist intent on establishing German hegemony on the continent
16 Corbsky, hero of the Russian Revolution whose charisma, oratory and sheer panache was resented so much by Stalin he was hounded out of Russia and eventually assassinated
17 Jezwald Corbsley, who tried to keep Britain out of ruinous continental war & was damned by the media as some kind of anti-British political extremist. He was at Cable Street you know.
18 Che Corbara, romantic revolutionary of the Sixties who inspired a generation of bearded cap-wearers to follow in his footsteps
19. What the great and the good are saying about the book
20 Available soon, £5-95 but with a 10% discount for early purchases. Publication date TBA.
